Who am I? My inspirations.
I went through an identity crisis during my early teen years. I came to the realisation that I was nothing but a walking amalgam of everything I loved and everyone I looked up to. To me, my personality was nothing but a culmination of traits and interests stolen from the people I admire. I felt like an exquisite corpse, like no part of me was original and all that made me ‘me’ was borrowed parts.
I soon realised that EVERYONE is shaped by the things and people they admire. It’s impossible not to be. We see things that ourselves or others like and we naturally try to make them a part of us; seeking to improve ourselves constantly. We regularly adapt and modify our personalities and behaviours; either to fit in or to be more like the people we admire.
I often feel I am more like an exquisite corpse than most, due to how heavily influenced I am by my inspirations.
Since I am a ‘writer’ you might expect my biggest inspirations to be authors, however, most of them are musicians.
I didn’t realise this until I started my blog this summer and all I wanted to write about was my favourite musicians, songs, lyrics and how much they inspire me. I really admire my favourite artist’s work ethic and commitment. These people want to create, so they do. It’s as simple as that. They don’t use busy as an excuse and they’ve taught me if you want something enough, you’ve got to put the hours in until its done.
I would be nothing without my inspirations. I would have no ambition, no desire to create and nothing to obsess over or fangirl about. (Obsessing and fangirling make me intensely happy no matter how much it may annoy those around me.)
If the question is ‘Who is Kaitlyn Cowling?’ the answer is: musicians like Brockhampton, BTS and George Watsky; composers like Hans Zimmer and Johann Johannsson; poets like Sarah Kay and Shane Koyczan; authors like Andy Weir, Fitzgerald and Gillian Flynn; directors like Christopher Nolan and Hayao Miyazaki, and game developers like Naughty Dog.
