Nearly All The Best Bits of New Zealand’s North Island
When travelling, it’s important to remember to take the good with the bad. If there’s no good, then it’s about smiling through the pain, and lying to your family about how much of a nice time you’re having. New Zealand is one of the rare places that I didn’t have to lie to my parents about, and my girlfriend and I were fortunate enough to spend a month driving round one of the most beautiful countries in the world. Armed with nothing more than the “well-loved” model of campervan offered by Lucky Van Rentals (the epitome of false-advertising), an overpriced Sat Nav and the promise that, “you’ll lose a tire or crack the windshield within fifty kilometres,” we actually managed to enjoy our stay enough to warrant me writing about it. So, here’s an oddly-specific list of my favourite/the best places to visit on the North Island of New Zealand.
Auckland — Cat Cafés and Expensive Car Parks
If you’ve got a spare fifteen dollars (an hour) to spend on parking your car in the centre of Auckland, then a visit to New Zealand’s largest city is a necessity. If this price does seem reasonable, please consider donating to my GoFundMe, you’re clearly happy wasting money, and I’m in desperate need. If you can’t afford that, then welcome to travelling — there are places slightly further out that won’t ask for your kidney in exchange for a parking spot.
Once you’ve been robbed blind, the city itself is well worth exploring. Public leisure centres are available if you want to pay for the luxury of a lukewarm shower, or you could simply head to one of Auckland’s two cat cafés and be licked clean by a friendly-feline. If cats aren’t your thing, perhaps consider throwing yourself off of New Zealand’s tallest building… SkyJump is an expensive adrenaline rush that’ll cost you (hopefully) no more than an arm and a leg. Unless tacky, knock-off Mauri souvenirs are your thing, it’s worth noting that Auckland is also probably the best place to get your shopping done.
Hamilton — ‘That Place’ Near Hobbiton
Hamilton is the next place of note on a hypothetical road-trip around New Zealand, although it’s inclusion on the list is my roundabout way of telling you to go and visit Hobbiton. Hamilton itself is nice, but if you’ve been to a zoo, museum or restaurant before, you’re in for no major surprises. If you haven’t ever visited at least one of those, you’ve definitely skipped a few life experiences in order to get to New Zealand, but I wouldn’t recommend ticking them off your list in Hamilton.
As stated previously, Hamilton is the best place from which to access Hobbiton, the real reason anybody visits the North Island. A mere forty-five minute drive away, book yourself onto a fully guided walking tour, enjoy a complimentary alcoholic beverage in the Green Dragon Inn and clap your hands like a child at every pointless, but nonetheless exciting, fact about the happiest place on Middle-Earth.
Rotorua — Eggs and Thermal Pools
If you like the smell of rotten eggs (and who doesn’t), then make sure not to miss Rotorua, bizarrely one of the most relaxing, albeit disgustingly pungent, places we visited on our road trip. Nicknamed the ‘Sulphur City,’ Rotorua offers access to Maori culture, geothermal activity, and enough ‘spa and wellness’ experiences to keep even the most middle-class of mothers happy. Whether you want to pay extortionate amounts of money to sit in slightly acidic, scalding hot water at the Polynesian Spa, watch scalding hot water erupt routinely from the Pōhutu Geyser (supposedly the largest geyser in the southern hemisphere (AA Traveller, 2016) [1]), or drink scalding hot water in the form of tea or coffee at one of Rotorua’s numerous cafés, there’s plenty of boiling H2O to go around.
If spending money isn’t your thing, then the Whakarewarewa Forest (The Redwoods to anybody that doesn’t care for tongue-twisters) is the perfect place to avoid financial responsibility. Their official website even states that, “Advice, friendly service and smiles are FREE” (The Redwoods, 2014) [2], none of which is available in England, automatically making it a worthwhile experience. With anything from hour-long, to multi-day walks available, The Redwoods are the perfect place to relax, experience some slightly-eggy fresh air, and if necessary, escape from the police; once you stray off the beaten path, there will be no tracking you down.
Taupo — A Really, Really Big Lake
Taupo has a really, really big lake. You’re also welcome to jump on a boat and visit the Mauri Rock Carvings, or walk to Huka Falls via some natural hot springs, but realistically the lake is the main attraction. It’s really big.
Wellington — Wind, Weta and Weally Good Bagels
If you want to experience living in a hurricane, go to Wellington. New Zealand’s capital city does have a number of other selling points, but it’s referred to as ‘Windy Wellington’ for a reason; on average, the wind speeds sit above 63km/h for one hundred and seventy-eight days of a year, making it the windiest city in the world (MetService Blog, 2017) [3]. If you’re slightly less easy to please, then Wellington does have some attractions that aren’t necessarily weather-related.
With innumerable trendy cafés and coffee shops, Wellington is the ideal location for any budding social media influencer. Grab yourself a bagel at Best Ugly Bagels (the bagels taste incredibly average, but you feel cool eating them), or a coffee at Midnight Espresso, where the tables are made out of old-school arcade machines that you can play on (which is cool no matter who you are). If Hobbiton wasn’t enough Lord of the Rings-nerdiness for you, then Weta Caves offers tours of the editing and production studios that played a vital role in the making of the LotR films, plus you get to see a life-sized Gollum, so that’s a no-brainer.
New Zealand is the most incredible places on the planet, and I’ve only mentioned the main places to visit on one of the two islands. I’ve neglected to talk about the stunning views, the peaceful drives, the natural beauty and the friendliest people you’ve ever met. Imagine England, but the complete opposite — it’s not a shithole, and sometimes you get smiled at.
References
[1] Larson, Michael. AA Traveller (2016) Pōhutu Geyser: the largest geyser in the southern hemisphere. Available at: https://www.aa.co.nz/travel/must-dos/pohutu-geyser-the-largest-geyser-in-the-southern-hemisphere/ (Accessed: 09 December 2019).
[2] The Redwoods (Editors) (2014) Prices. Available at: https://redwoods.co.nz/info/prices/ (Accessed: 09 December 2019).
[3] Clark, April. MetOffice Blog (2017) Why is Wellington so windy? Available at: https://blog.metservice.com/windy-wellington (Accessed: 10 December 2019).
