Facing Demons:
The impact social media has on self-esteem and confidence.
I felt like I’d just been hit in the face with a breezeblock. Nothing constructive came from me sitting there seeing the hundreds of nude and semi-nude young women constantly seeking approval and using financial manipulation on particularly lonely and troubled men. Despite my efforts to try and understand why they would want to post this sort of content onto what is supposed to be a clean and family-friendly platform, I was shaken to a point where I did something irrational, it wasn’t ladylike of me and I’m not proud of myself but in an effort to face the beginning of climbing what seems like a massive wall, I confessed what had been troubling me for months. The pain is hardly worth it when the people posting the content will never truly know the issues they are causing without reading articles and personal accounts of events like this one.
Like a burst water main in a high rise… I couldn’t stop pouring out my insecurities. These girls really did break the dam in my heart. They advertise themselves initially on Instagram, with their legs open, crotches pointing towards the camera and glassy, hollow, doughy eyed faces mouthing some words you should only be able to see after the watershed on an inconspicuous live tv show or perhaps on an ID required website in the early hours of a rather insomnia driven night.
On one of many Instagram posts, the glamour models tell these lust-driven people to head over to a platform called ‘onlyfans’ committing to perform explicit acts on camera at the request of a stranger dribbling over their flesh while throwing money at them. I used to be a professional model and I understand the rush that comes from having so many numbers of people saying how gorgeous you are on a regular basis.
There’s one problem with it though… It doesn’t build up your inner confidence. It doesn’t suffice for your inner worth or work towards enhancing your self-esteem. It’s all an act. The kerb appeal doesn’t seem to need improvement and the people encouraging these ladies are sometimes not even offering them a lick of paint every now and then towards their maintenance costs. It’s hope and dead roses in a working man’s factory.
Personally speaking, I find that their efforts to seek the approval of others for their physical image rather chilling, now that I know what goes on behind the scenes and in the minds of some photographers.
Although I had the decency to keep my reputation intact on social media via not being too suggestive or wearing very little in a degrading manner, it doesn’t prevent the worry that maybe one day my child might share a link with me and say “Look mummy it’s you, I didn’t know that you used to pose in your underwear on the internet.”. It’s a huge concern and I am lucky that I have learned a very hard lesson in such a short space of time. I don’t want to have to explain myself constantly, live with a false self-image, hurt others with my actions or give off the impression that I am selfish and cold.
Half of these girls are actually doing it because they are desperate and not able to sustain themselves financially. The desperation reaches a point where it becomes an addiction, similar to smoking or gambling. The need for validation fools the models into thinking it’s their own choice…when in actual fact it’s not. It’s a loss of self. They are not free birds flying high in the sky. They are caged hens living by the instruction of man. Workhorses advertised in the ‘Daily Star’.
How do we liberate these girls into becoming full-figured and self-loving ambitious women?
Well, the other portion of ladies that are discreet and choose to not be vulgar even when pushed by slimy, demanding photographers, are often the ones that do have ambition and it fits into their career quite nicely.
They know what they are doing, and they do not need the validation from others as they simply have offers from film-makers, directors, clothing lines, perfumeries and jewellery makers. These ladies use it as work and they know what platforms they should be published on without causing offence. However, they are still earning a considerable sum of money. Of which I believe is very well deserved after a long day of wearing six-inch heels and posing like a contortionist on a very thin wired staircase.
