What I Wish I had Known Before I Stopped Being a Teenager
Too many times have I been told that the teenage years are the best of your life. Well, mine are now firmly over. For the most part, my teenage years were not anywhere near the best of anything. I suffered a lot of anguish and I barely made it out the other side. Being a teenager is a form of hell that most adults forget quickly. However, being a teenager can be made easier when you know some things, and I wish I had accepted these statements sooner.
Don’t Rush into all Relationships
ok, this one seems like a given. It’s a solid piece of advice most people hand down to young people. Sometimes relationships forged in these formative years can be the best thing for young people; they have a lot of fun with one or more people and they have great memories and they can even continue these relationships which will last a lifetime. This doesn’t ring true for everyone. 1 in 2 teens in relationships report being controlled, threatened, and pressured to do things they did not want to do. I personally experienced this in a relationship just as I was coming to the end of my time in secondary school. While my ex-boyfriend was online and couldn’t physically hurt me, his words and actions left a lasting impact on me that I am still healing from. For those teens who have had toxic relationships with a person they were physically close to, it has been much worse for them. Almost 1 in 3 report actual sexual abuse, physical abuse, or threats of physical abuse. Pursuing relationships as a teenager is normal and healthy behaviour, but unless you truly like a person, don’t date them. Similarly, if you truly like them but they do things intentionally which hurt you, reconsider the relationship, fast.
Not all Jobs are Worth Your Time
My first job was at a local bar and restaurant. I got the job because I felt like I needed some cash. My mum didn’t support my endeavours to find work and when there were issues with me getting the money I worked for, mum refused to help me. Long story short, I never got paid. My case is an extreme one, and I regret getting into that situation. The majority of young people are working. But young people are also more likely to fall victim to zero-hours contracts; Over a third (36%) of people on zero hours contracts are aged 16–24. These contracts usually mean you earn less money than if you weren’t on one and worked fewer hours. While getting work experience is key for an average person’s future, don’t accept tough working conditions from any and all jobs, because you are worth more than that. Really consider how valuable the experience you’re getting from this job is, and consider how beneficial it will be for your future. If you just want to earn money and don’t care about the experience of working then there are alternate ways to get money that don’t involve typical work.
Invest Time in your Hobbies
This one I cannot state enough. A recent study has shown that spending time on creative goals during a day is associated with higher positive moods on that day. You may feel there isn’t enough time to work on something you enjoy doing, or you may feel unable to start working on a new hobby, but even a small amount of time devoted to activity you enjoy is better than nothing. This one also goes for the older part of the population, too. Participating in leisure activities is significantly and positively related to mental health status in both men and women over the age of 50. Another study found that enjoyable leisure activities are associated with psychosocial and physical gauges relevant for health and well-being across many ages. I wish I had taken more time to appreciate the hobbies I have developed over the years. I’d probably feel less nervous about enjoying activities if I had spent more time working on them when I was younger.
Your Life is Just Beginning; Don’t Rush
Many of us, when we are getting close to adulthood, want to rush towards the freedom and respect and finally start living life how we want. But young people need to remember that once you become an adult you can’t go back to being a kid. Once you take on that responsibility it tends to be impossible to shake off. You have to find the right balance between childhood and adulthood when you’re in these precarious years. Save and invest your money, but also remember to spend it on things you enjoy. Get a job, but know you have value. Date and form relationships, but don’t force anything. Live life, but don’t rush ahead. Otherwise you might find that your best years of your life were your teenage years; but you pushed them away.
