You May Say I’m A Dreamer
It’s all about me.
In the immortal words of a peace-loving Beatle, ‘You may say I’m a dreamer’. I am a dreamer, most definitely. For me, dreaming, in the sense of imagining a future ideal, is essential for mustering the motivation, courage and energy needed to survive those cold and challenging chapters that life snows down upon us. To dream is to have hope, and as long as there’s hope, anything’s possible.
If I was asked, twelve months ago, ‘Who are you?’, I would have camouflaged my insecurities and susceptibility to depression, and answered with a cocky, straightforward certainty. Something like; ‘Self made, entrepreneurial businessman, by day. Raging party animal, by night’.
Last year, Go Glam Productions, the events company that my fiancé and I had tirelessly nurtured for five years, was finally coming to fruition. Success is such a blurred and unrefined word, but, for the first time, getting a mortgage was possible and we were gearing up to start a family in relative comfort.
Then COVID Happened…
Overnight, the industry on which I had depended for so long, was dead in the water. No events. No money. No business. The pandemic forced this new, unwelcome, monotonous pace to life; slamming the breaks on my comfortable routine. Surprisingly, being a part-time hypochondriac, the virus itself was fairly low down my list of concerns, instead channelling my worries towards the stress and uncertainty of my now non-existent business.
The sudden panic, paired with endless, uninterrupted time to think, worry, stew, and dwell, made for the unprecedented and emotional epiphany that without a business to manage; I didn’t know who I actually was anymore. I had been living on autopilot for years, an existence defined and governed by an all-consuming career that I had inadvertently carved out for myself.
Writing To The Rescue!
During the Autumn of 2019, I enrolled at university as a mature student to study creative and professional writing. It was a spur of the moment decision; an attempt to reignite a lifelong passion for storytelling that would hopefully expand my literary tool kit, enabling me to begin fine tuning some of the many ideas that were rattling around in my head.
My decade-long career in PR and events required me to write on a daily basis. I would churn out colourfully descriptive press releases, stylish newsletters and manipulative, pitch perfect emails, to an array of journalists, clients, customers, suppliers and colleagues. Despite writing for several hours a day for years, I hadn’t considered it to be a major part of my life. Even when I successfully applied for, and subsequently began, my degree, I wasn’t allowing writing my full attention. I regarded creative writing as a self indulgent hobby rather than anything serious.
However, since the lockdown, with a big career shaped void to fill, I turned to reading, writing and researching to introduce some structure back into my life. Without the distractions of my usual work, my head began bubbling with ideas again. I could fill my days with energising creativity rather than the unavoidable anxiety, stress and pressure that came with working alongside large brands and agencies. I was in control of my own life for the first time in years and it was proving to be more valuable for my mental health than any stress management therapy I’d been through.
After a short while, previously forgotten and buried ambitions began to re-emerge in all corners of my life. Ideas began free-flowing into my creative writing and towards new and exciting business plans.
It’s About Freedom.
It might be cliché, but often you can’t see how bad a situation is until you’re out the other side. After COVID forced my previously thriving business into dormancy, I can now start to picture a new, bright future, and it certainly doesn’t involve events. It’s about freedom. It’s about owning my life creatively, personally and professionally. It’s about control; making the right, healthy decisions from the head and the heart, simultaneously.
Live The Dream!
Today my outlook is clearer and more positive than I can ever remember. Without sounding like a YOLO-preaching millennial, we likely have only one shot at living, so it’s important to make it count and explore beyond those narrow and engrained paths of life, like pursuing an unfulfilling career in the name of money.
Whether I launch a new business driven by love and passion, make ground-breaking television and film or write thought provoking journalism and fiction, I’m proud to be charging into the unknown with honesty and clarity. Whatever I do, it’s gonna be BIG, and that’s what they call living the dream!
Who am I? You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.
