What I Wish I Knew Before Putting My Dog to Sleep
Coping with the day that every pet owner dreads.
On July 3rd of this year, we had to let our beloved family pet cross the Rainbow Bridge. It wasn’t a shock, we had made the appointment 3 days earlier, after all. To be quite candid, we were shocked he had lived as long as he had. 18 months previously, our dog was diagnosed with heart disease, the most common heath condition in his breed, and we had been told that he could be gone in as little as a fortnight, and yet he had lived to see two more birthdays. We often joke that he wasn’t good at anything in his life, why should he be good at dying? He was a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and his name was Cromwell, a joke that my family and precisely nobody else found funny. Apparently, the English Civil War isn’t a common influence in the naming of pets, who would have guessed? He gave us 13 beautiful years, full of popcorn being stolen out of our hands, squirrels being utterly ignored unless they were on the television, and more than a few broken ornaments on the three consecutive years that he fell off the sofa into the Christmas tree. More than that, though, he gave us 13 years of unconditional love. And that was why we had to put him down.
Why?
Because it isn’t fair to reward a lifetime of love with a few extra weeks of suffering. It’s just selfish. Cromwell wasn’t happy by the end. It was plain to see, a dog that had once climbed on top of your book if he deemed you weren’t paying enough attention to him was now sat outside, under the bench, staring into the distance. He was ready to go, keeping him alive wouldn’t be fair to him. I always doubted pet owners who said that “you just know when it’s time to let them go,” but it turned out to be true. Cromwell had never needed words to make his feelings clear, and this was no exception. Many vets agree that euthanasia is one of the most difficult decisions a pet owner will have to make, but it really is necessary to allow your pet to “go with dignity” when “age or illness is impacting on their day-to-day happiness and health” (RVC, 2021). Sometimes, the truest gesture of love is letting someone go.
How do you spend your last hours with a dying pet?
By making them happy. We went out and bought him all the foods he loved but wasn’t normally allowed, chicken and cheese and popcorn. Lots and lots of popcorn. We spent the evening fussing him, telling him how much we loved him and grateful we were for the life he had spent loving us in return. Cromwell knew all that, of course, we spent his whole life professing our undying love for him, but telling him one last time felt important. Don’t shut yourself away from them, let your pet know that you’re there, that you still love them even if they can’t keep going.
How does it happen?
Euthanasia, by its very nature, isn’t painful. If you remember nothing else from this article, remember that. Your pet will not suffer, which is more than can be said if you were to let their illness take them slowly. Our vet was absolutely lovely, and she talked us through the whole procedure. Due to the pandemic, we couldn’t all go into the room with him, but one person was allowed to. With that person, Cromwell would be wrapped in a nice, soft blanket, and given lots of love and attention, before the injection. Then, he would just drift off to sleep, peaceful and happy, and that would be that. We decided that my mother should be the one with him in his last moments. His whole life, he had gone running to her for comfort after a loud noise or a nightmare, it seemed right that she should look after him then as well. We didn’t want Cromwell to be alone, and we benefited from knowing just how painless it was, but you may find that it’s too difficult to be there when it happens. That’s ok. There’s no right or wrong way to deal with such a loss, you have to make the decision that’s best for you. If you’re too upset, it might upset your pet as well, so don’t ever feel guilty about how you choose to do it. If you’re accepting euthanasia, you’re clearly already making choices in your pet’s best interest, and nobody can ask more than that.
How can you go back to an empty house afterwards?
It hurts. Oh, it hurts so much. The empty crate, the toys still scattered in the living room, the food bowls on the floor…and no cherished pet to use them. The best thing to do is to gather them all up and get rid of them immediately. The longer they sit there unused, the longer it will be that you find yourself catching sight of it and feeling a new wave of grief. Case in point: I found an old bottle of dog shampoo in the cupboard several weeks after we lost Cromwell and was absolutely devastated all over again. Which brings me to my final point:
Does it ever get easier?
Yes, definitely. Not right away, and it might even feel like it’s getting worse, but you will make it through to the other side. Back in July, losing Cromwell hurt too much to talk about. Now, I happily reminisce on all the happy times we had together. I still miss him, my best and sometimes only friend, but the pain gets easier to manage. Try to remember the good, the love you shared with your pet, and know that you made the right choice. Euthanasia is far more common than many people seem to realise, with around 90% of dogs being put to sleep (Pegram et al, 2021), and it really is the kindest thing you can do for your dog.
If you’re struggling to make a decision about what’s best for your dog, here are a few websites that helped me come to terms with it:
https://www.purina.co.uk/articles/dogs/senior/saying-goodbye/putting-your-dog-to-sleep
References:
Pegram, C., 2021. Proportion and risk factors for death by euthanasia in dogs in the UK. [online] Nature. Available at: <https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-021-88342-0> [Accessed 11 October 2021].
Rvc.ac.uk. 2021. RVC study into euthanasia of dogs aims to help vets and owners better prepare for that toughest decision. [online] Available at: <https://www.rvc.ac.uk/vetcompass/news/new-rvc-study-into-euthanasia-of-dogs-aims-to-help-veterinary-professionals-and-owners-better-prepare-for-that-toughest-decision> [Accessed 11 October 2021].
