Bear Shot After Blonde Mauling

Deep into Evergreen Forest Thursday afternoon Tony Hendricks, a woodcutter, stumbled upon the body of a teenage blonde with, what he described as, curly golden locks.

“I was felling trees when I found the body,” Tony said. “She was in a bad state. Her face and body had been clawed to pieces and she was missing an arm.”

Police were called to investigate and discovered the trail of blood leading to a cottage belonging to a family of bears. When questioned, Papa Bear, the patriarch of the family, turned violent and attacked the police officers. When he refused to desist a swat team was called and it ended with Papa being shot. His wife and child have since been taken into police custody.

The locals of Evergreen all agreed that Papa Bear was a friendly character but “had an anger problem.” If only one of them thought to warn young Goldie Locke she might still be alive today.

Under interrogation it was revealed that Goldie Locke broke into the Bear household and plundered through their possessions, destroying a perfectly prepared porridge breakfast, while also ruining the cushioning of three chairs and three beds. When asked to leave young Goldie instead screamed and locked the bears in their bedroom. Papa didn’t take kindly to this and once he broke down the door, he proceeded to attack the young girl. Mama Bear admitted to joining in but denies Baby Bear had any part in this. Once the girl lay dead they dragged her body into the woods and made a fresh bowl of porridge.

Mama Bear is now awaiting trial for manslaughter. Baby Bear has been handed over to the state in hopes that he will find a less violent home, but whether the mental wounds inflicted by his violent parents shall have any effect on his future is anyone’s guess. What we do know for sure is that this will certainly harm future human bear relationships nationwide.