It Would Be Much Better If…

“It would be much better if I just leave,” she said. “I have contacts. I can find help.”

There were little protests. I sat silently, watching everything unfold. I wanted to say something, to tell her it was madness, but I didn’t. I stayed silent.

“I’m leaving.” She got up abruptly and went to the door. She typed in the code, making sure no one else could see what it was, and the door opened up.

“Wait!” her sister called. The naval officer stood still at the door and watched as her sister ran towards her. We all were ready to break up a fight, but instead she hugged her.

“If you’re going out there then so am I.”

None of us expected that. From the second we were trapped down here we could feel the tension between them. None of us knew them, of course, so we had no idea what it was about. But seeing them together like this, knowing certain death awaited, it put things into perspective.

Knowing two of them were going rather than one made it much more difficult to stay silent. Damn my cowardice. That was how I survived the apocalypse though. If I hadn’t run away and left my church that morning when the sirens sounded I would probably be outside. Probably be dead.

The teacher was desperate for something to happen he almost pushed them out the door. We knew it was a death sentence, knew they should have stayed. Still, we said nothing..

After the door closed and sealed itself we could hear a loud scream. The naval officer’s sister.

“I guess that settles it,” the politician said. “There’s nothing out there for us.”

“Not much in here for us either.” The teacher was still at the door, just staring at it like he could open it with his mind. “None of us have found any food. All we have is three bottles of water and a pack of crisps.”

“We can make do for now,” said the nurse.

“And what about later? We could be stuck down here for weeks. Maybe longer.”

No one wanted to accept the situation, there were mumbles of disagreement. Some laughed it off. We were just a group of strangers so who was there to take control of the situation? I hadn’t moved from my seat since we got in here but now everything was starting to feel claustrophobic.

“Look, we need to keep exploring this place, see if we can find something useful. Maybe even a way out.” We all turned and looked at the soldier. He had stood silently in the background the whole time, I almost forgot he was there, but now he had made the call and others were willing to follow. Someone was finally taking command.

“Yeah man. Come on. I think I saw a kitchen back there,” said the teacher. “Maybe there’s running water.” He barged past everyone followed by the soldier and the politician. I stayed seated. I wanted to go with them but I was too afraid to move. Too afraid to be seen.

The rest of us in the entryway made small talk. I always hated it, but was more than inclined to participate when it was my turn. I told them about my church, avoiding all the awkward topics. My friends from school Dave and Luke-John had made it down here too but there was no happy reunion. No sharing stories or laughing. They both went with the others to explore and I was left in silence again. I cradled my bag trying to fight off the urge to take another hit. It had been hours since my last hit and I was starting to feel the withdrawal.

A loud clang came through the doorway, followed by some shouting. Everyone left in the entryway asked what it was as one and all filed through to see what was going on. I came last but was glad to finally be up and stretching my legs.

In the kitchen the teacher was shouting at the nurse while everyone was gathering around to keep them from fighting.

“Stop calling me that,” said the nurse.

“I’ll call you whatever I want. Lady-man, lady-man, lady-man.” He wasn’t clever or original. He was angry though. Really angry. He grabbed a wooden spoon and was jabbing it into the nurse’s chest, but the soldier quickly snatched it and threw it into the darkness.

I followed the noise of the clatter and pocketed the spoon. I may not have my kit, but with a wooden spoon I could at least crush down my stash and snort it. I tried to sneak away to take a hit while everyone was distracted, but Dave caught my arm.

“What a fucking mess we got ourselves in here, eh?” I nodded but wasn’t feeling it. My hands were shaking from the withdrawal. I was so thirsty but the water was kept hidden away and guarded by the soldier.

“Hey guys, why don’t we all go sit back down through there and calm down,” said the voice of reason. Yeah, it had to take a nuclear apocalypse to make the politicians finally speak sense.

The nurse went first, being led by the twin sisters and Luke-John. I tried to stay behind but apparently the teacher and soldier had a similar idea so I decided to wait for my chance to get high again. I went through the darkness and back to the bench where I sat quietly and listened to everyone else.

“That guy is such an arsehole,” the nurse said. “Who does he think he is waving that spoon around like that.” We all laughed at the idea of a spoon being used as a threat.

“He’s just a bit tetchy is all,” the politician said. “Being trapped down here can do that to people, you know how it is.” It was true, being stuck in this bunker was driving us crazy.

“Why did you all let the sailor go?” one twin asked.

“What do you mean?” the politician asked.

“I mean she had the door codes. Did none of you think to get them before she went? How are we going to get out now?”

“She said she will come back for us if it’s safe. If not then the best place for us is right here.”

“It is the will of God,” I said. I knew it wasn’t the best time, but I felt everyone needed the calming influence of a higher power to help them through.

“Oh shut up, preacher!” the other twin said.

“I’m a deacon,” I muttered back.

“Come on now, let’s not argue again.” The politician looked like he was going to say more but was interrupted by a bang. Not the bang of pots and pans being shoved over but a gunshot.

“What the hell was that?” the nurse asked. Everyone rushed back through to the kitchen to see the soldier dead against the wall.

“What happened?” the politician asked.

“He shot himself,” the teacher said.

“What? Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know. We were on our way back and thought he was beside us, next thing we knew he was dead.”

The nurse went over to check him out, but he was dead.

“Deacon, why don’t you give him his last rites?”

I nodded and went over. Everyone else went back to the entryway to sit down.

“You lucky bastard,” I whispered to the body.

When I went back everyone was talking about the incident.

“I can’t believe it,” Luke-John was saying.

“Did anyone find the gun?” the politician asked.

We all looked around but no one spoke up.

“I didn’t think to look for the gun,” the teacher said.

“I think we need to find it, we can’t leave something dangerous like that lying about.” We nodded in agreement and a few of us went back to look for it.

As we got to the kitchen there was a banging against a door.

“What the hell?” the teacher said.

The banging got louder and it sounded like someone had gotten in. the small commotion coming from the entryway died down, but the banging continued, followed by a shuffling noise. I made my way to the back of the room, furthest away from the danger, while the teacher and politician took up the front.

A blinding light came round the corner and then it was all over.