Sex sells and we pay the price
A previous boss of mine once told me “You look rough without make-up. This is a bit awkward, just make yourself more presentable next time I see you, okay”. And so a young, embarrassed and unconfident girl walked into work the next day obeying orders and lived behind a mask of No7 foundation in fear that she would lose business for her employers, just because of her horrifying bare face. From that point on she would hide behind her make-up in fear that another man would say the same thing.
As a woman of almost 20, I have grown up to think make-up makes you pretty, a hairless body makes you more desirable and having a big bum and boobs means you’re sexier. I have been ridiculed with adverts that promote women’s beauty, had men tell me how to make myself more pretty and have experienced the peer pressure to have your own style in order to fit into an all-girls school. I have been waxed, preened, groomed and plastered with all sorts of chemicals. I have carried and lost dozens of pounds over the years. I have tried to squeeze into a size 6 and dreaded the thought of growing into a size 14. But for what? Why have I put myself through this?
Because sex sells. Every woman wants to feel good about themselves. Every woman has gone through years of preparation to ensure she would be appreciated in the right way. Every woman wants to be accepted and adored. It’s human nature. But sometimes that’s not enough. Sometimes a man will leave you even though you spend hours making yourself look nice for him. Sometimes girls at a bar will turn around, give you dirty looks and laugh at the way you have dressed despite dedicating a whole day to make yourself feel good. Sometimes your family will look at you and think “Oh she’s overdone it this time”. They’ll think you’re too fat. They’ll think you’re too thin. One person will think you look perfect. The next will think you look like shit. That’s how it works. That’s how it will always work. But you can’t resist giving up can you? You can’t help worrying what other people think because you want people to like you, to think you’re above average. So you exercise, try something different, change your diet. Anything to take away that little bloated pouch that you always feel yourself sucking in when you wear a tight dress on a night out. You arch your back and turn into a bird with your arse and tits sticking out. Why? You look stupid. But it’s the only nice picture of you and without even thinking, you post it, praying you’ll get more than 20 likes.
I wish I wasn’t indoctrinated by this social expectation. The expectation that women have to be perfect. That they have to have beautiful long hair and nails despite having to deal with the split ends that appear three months down the line. That they have to be tanned when it’s the middle of fucking January. I hate the fact that my spots and my unfilled eyebrows make me feel paranoid and ugly. Women are taught to obsess over how they look because if they don’t conform to their beauty regime they are deemed as ‘weird’ and ‘ugly’.
“Ooh she’s let herself go a bit!” they say as someone comfort eats to make themselves feel better. Why have we become like this? It is not necessary. Everyone has the right to do and live as they want to. We shouldn’t have to shave if we don’t want to. We shouldn’t have to wear make-up if we don’t want to. Everyone in society should do these ‘beauty regimes’ because they genuinely love it and want to, not because an advert is telling them to. But sadly one person won’t change what the army of young girls will be told from the mothers and the mothers before them: of how the system works and what everyone will expect from them. The secret that has been passed through the generations of women since the beginning of time. Just to protect us from embarrassment later down the line.
I wish I could end on more of a positive note. I hate the world we live in and the obsessive nature of our culture to look pretty in order to please others. In order to be more desirable. Yet if someone compliments us, we turn bashful, embarrassed, we’re not used to being called beautiful. But we are. No matter what you look like, whatever size, shape or form, you are absolutely and completely beautiful and should be proud to say it no matter what anybody says.
