What I Wish I’d Known Before…
Two years ago, my sister and I hit it big in the music industry. Our two-person band, Skulls, took years to become successful, but when we got there, it was more than a rocky ride. Everyone reacted differently. Ash kept out of the media and I was the face of our band, yet she got sucked into the darkness and spat out again. She met this guy, Tommy, and lost her way. She started drinking whiskey at ten a.m. and snorted coke off toilet seats…she even missed our shows. Our opening band, Far Cry, had to stand in when she wouldn’t appear, or if she was off her face and couldn’t play her drum kit.
I found her three months after she started dating Tommy, curled into a ball on her hotel room floor, bruised and bloody — she was broken. He’d abused my baby sister and I didn’t see it coming. Tommy was lucky he got hit by a car that night, because I was ready to beat the seven shades of shit out of him. Karma got there first, but his punishment was too quick. I wish I’d known before that Ash would get drawn in by the black hole of the spotlight. She’d followed the path so many other stars had crawled, and it wasn’t fair. I didn’t know how I escaped.
I guess I didn’t, not really, because fame didn’t equate to loyalty. My girlfriend, Sienna, had been through everything with us; helped me when I wanted to hide and give up on our music. We were a month into our first UK tour when she told me she was pregnant. I wasn’t ecstatic or ready to become a dad, but I didn’t get a choice. I wish I’d known before Nate was born that Sienna was married and her husband knew about us. She disappeared, so I got full custody of our son and didn’t look back. She didn’t either.
But what baffled me the most was how much people looked towards the band and our music. Rock wasn’t as big as it was in the eighties and nineties, but to us and our fans, it was home. We got too many letters that said we helped people through difficult times, and while it was fantastic, it made it difficult to keep the standard up.
Then our manager pressed us for music that would sell, rather than what we wanted to produce. Ash and I kicked off and we found a new manager. Still wanted money, but he was more lenient on how we got it. Except I went through a dry spell of shit lyrics and even worse guitar riffs. Being the front man for a rock band, raising Nate and stabilising Ash put a damper on things, so we took a year off. Got through it together and produced a second album that went straight to number one, and a UK tour that sold out in ten minutes. Our world tour was announced last year.
When people thought of rock stars, they imagined we had it easy. Living in the spotlight was simple and our lives perfect. No. Far from it, because with fame came the pressure to be what our fans wanted, without neglecting what we needed. To balance on the tightrope even as we enjoyed every moment was difficult, but it could be done. We would overcome the other hurdles throughout our journey, just like we’d done in the past.
I wish I’d know before what being a rock star really meant.
