Introducing The New 2015–2016 RAs!
Starting after Spring Break, 18 new RAs will be taking their places around campus. Without further ado, meet the new, 2015–2016 Resident Assistants.
Alex Arnett (Appleby): The O.G Applebetch is back! Al Pal Monkey Gal hails from a land far far away…Pasadena. Alex is probably the friendliest, smiliest person on this campus (sorry Ashraf). When she’s not hanging out with you giggling, she’s either running or watching T.V. Warning to her residents: DO NOT ENTER/try to talk/look at her/interrupt her TV watching, unless of course you want to see her betchy side. Alex is a Math and Economics major who occasionally likes to speak Spanish when she’s talking about her time spent abroad in Madrid. Her alter ego is known to be MISS KEKE P, so if you’re tryna pump her up be sure to play bottoms up. Lucky you, Appleby, cause this gal’s a catch!
Isabel Wade (Boswell): From just north of us(a), Isabel, fittingly, is excited to join the very north of campus as the new RA of Boswell! She loves the NQ and she had the “best sophomore year eva” as an Applebetch, and is determined have the “best senior year eva” as a Bosbabe. She’s a dual International Relations major who just returned from a semester in Senegal. She’s utterly confused by Southern comfort food, like biscuits and gravy, and
prefers a well prepared PB&J. Like every Canadian, she dominated at ice hockey during her youth, but on campus she has lots of fun with MUN and is especially looking forward to the 500 awkward high schoolers who will descend on campus in April. She’s incredibly passionate about anti-trafficking — she answered hotline calls for CAST and interviewed victims in Mauritania, so obviously she can help you through any problem you might encounter as her resident. She’s considering a lock-out policy that involves copious amounts of chocolate, so I’d build up your stash of Collins candy now. If she’s not ballin’ in Boswell, catch her at the Bermuda triangle of the 5Cs where everyone ends up eventually (Poppa, Hub patio, the Motley).
Charlotte Bailey (Green): Charlotte Bailey is a Government major from Orangevale, California, making her one of only a few students at the Claremont Colleges from Northern California. She’s back from a semester in DC, spent studying the works of such scholars as Olivia Pope and Frank Underwood. As a typical, driven CMCer, she’s been as involved as possible. From stints as a part of ASCMC (as the Executive Secretary), a former Athena on the CMS Women’s Soccer team, to SOURCE, to the Rose, she’s done it all, and now, she’s excited to be the RA of Green Hall. She was accidentally selected for RA because DOS mistook her for her absolutely charming and far quieter sister Grace.
Ben Turner (Wohlford): Benedict Cumberbatch Turner is an international student from the land of Lulu Lemon and is literally the tallest person you will ever meet. This Philosophy turn(er)ed Gov major is considering a Leadership Sequence because leadership. His inspiration in life is everything SNL and he will likely be gracing the stage of a comedy club near you soon (Wohlford residents: may the puns be ever in your favor). Your favorite new Alpha Wohlf opted out of study abroad and spent this past year serving as ASCMC Junior Class President and resident tall/funny person on everything he ever joined ever. Benedict is v excited to reign over NQ with his fellow Canadian compatriot Isabel Wade.
Maya Kale (Phillips): From far far away Singapore—check her infinity pool pics—Maya studies sometimes but will eat always. If you ever want Asian food, she’s your gal. Sushi at 10am—why not? In her limited free time she swims butterfly like an angel (or some might even say like a butterfly). Go up and say hello to her—she never forgets a face and will always say hi when she sees you. And as a piece of advice: if you come bearing donuts, she will love you forever.
Byron Cohen (Beckett): Byron Cohen is a man of many ambitions. Originally from the People’s Republic of Cambridge, he is now fully convinced that he will become the next Stevie Wonder and can be found crooning with his beloved, Herbie the harmonica. When he’s not busy crafting a humanitarian plan to save the world, he’s trying to figure his future career as Senator, developmental economist, and hypochondriac. Because of his PPE major, he finds his title of Lord Byron, Baron of Beckett Manor completely consistent with democracy because… PROPERTY RIGHTS, muthafuckas. He also likes hockey and baboons and big butts and chocolate. If you find this joke amusing, you and Byron would be friends: “There are three kinds of people in this world, people who can count and people that can’t.”
Milly Fotso (Berger): Milly “Granny Mildred” Fotso hails from many corners of the earth including five of our great states and two continents. A CMC demeanor majoring at Pitzer, she spends her free time running a nonprofit in Cameroon, SHARE (Sustainable Health Alliance for Recycled Equipment). Feisty, poised, and tenacious, her Thursday nights consist of raging in her room in her LBR (little black robe) watching How to Get Away with Murder with a pint (or several) of cookie butter ice cream. If upon closer look she is wearing workout attire, it’s not what you think. Her most strenuous workout to date was a tragic bike ride to In-N-Out. If you are wondering where you can find the granny herself, just listen for that infectious laugh that can be heard from Kravis to Bauer (just wait for it). When you see her on campus, make sure to shoot her a quick “Turtle, turtle!”
Ryan Driscoll (Stark this semester, Claremont Hall next year): Ryan Lynch the Grinch aka Ry ry ry rhino Drizzy is a yellow haired female that likes waffles and news and all things Hillary Clinton. Boasting 500+ LinkedIn connections, Ryan is a foodventuring narcoleptic (In n Out?) who thrives on Costco food court trips, bingsu, and dimsum. You can catch this Nashville Southern Belle strutting to the Rose Institute (or breaking into the Scripps library) in her signature J. Crew and Chacos getup or tapping into her inner golden retriever, hiking and taking long car rides with the windows down. Ry-dawg used her expert cuddling skills to keep Professor Kreines’s cats alive for a full semester, so fear not—you are in good hands. Ryan Driscoll: Wife, mom, lawyer, women & kids advocate, FLOAR, FLOTUS, US Senator, SecState, author, dog owner, hair icon, pantsuit aficionado, glass ceiling cracker, TBD…
Shane Griffee (Crown Hall): Shane “Shané” Griffee is an Economics and International Relations major from the bustling metropolis of Ojai, California. Among the new Crown RA’s multiplicity of talents are his incredible singing voice, which he flaunts through his a cappella group, Mood Swing; his earth-shaking dance moves; and his ability to make you fall in love with just a wink and a smile. But don’t be alarmed by his impossibly good looks; Shane is possibly the nicest and most approachable person on CMC’s campus. This studly swimmer (of days past) just completed a lengthy “walk of Shane” from his romantic getaway semester in Paris, and is back on campus with the goal of brightening everyone’s lives. Arguably the “Crown” jewel of this class of RAs, Shane is a sweet and incredibly friendly guy who’s always there when you need him. Watch out, y’all; the Shane train has no brakes!
Janelle Shiozaki (Crown Hall): Janelle Shiozaki is a Philosophy and Environmental Analysis major. Janelle hails from Belmont, and is known as J, Zaki, and especially Zaki-bomb. Janelle plays outfield for the CMS Athenas Softball team, where she can stay dedicated to her studies in investigating the environment (and you can spot her great smile all the way from the stands). As a previous sponsor of Crown, Janelle is excited to make the dorm her residents’ home. Look forward to seeing her heading to practice, baking across the Quad in Claremont Hall’s new kitchen or on her way to the farmer’s market.
Miles Wilson (Benson): Twenty years ago in the Motherland of America (Arlington, Texas), the gods of this universe colluded to bring a boy into being. Named Miles Hutton Wilson, the Third, this boy grew up to become the inspiration for Disney’s hit movie High School Musical 2. A two-time National Powerlifting champion and an accomplished choir boy, MHW III taught prepubescent teens everywhere that, “Yes, they too could share a passion for vocal harmonization and Muscle Milk™!” Since this wild success, Miles has attempted to cut back his celebrity. It’s presumed that the conclusion of his recent modeling campaign for his alma mater The Oakridge School will afford him some more privacy. Despite this, never fear! This Oakridge Owl has been known, on occasion, to accept autograph requests! Rumor has it that he’s partial to compliments on his eyes (just don’t get lost in them!), so try your hand at charming this elusive stud. If you’re finding it difficult to get your fill of MHW III in person, his Christmas album “Better than Bublé” will be released July 2015 at your nearest Waffle House.
Amit Maor (Marks): Amit Maor: Hailing from Tel Aviv, Israel, Amit (pronounced: A-MEATBALL) is a junior studying Economics and Computer Science. Amit’s most notable characteristic is his luscious head of hair, which has never been cut. When not grooming his luxurious locks, Amit can be found rapping and popping tags to Macklemore’s “Thrift Shop” with his A Cappella group, defending on the 5C Club Soccer Team, or tackling pickpockets on the Metrolink (ask him about it). Amit is super excited to amit the Marks Hall residents and would like to apologize in advance for the onslaught of similar puns headed their way.
Hayley Peterson (Stark): Hayley Peterson might appear giggly and playful, but she’s secretly a hardcore Management-Engineering major striving to become a structural engineer. Yes, she knows how to build things AND manage them. She’s also the only junior as an RA. So basically she’s a big deal. Peterson hails from the world-famous city of Gilroy, California, known as the “Garlic Capitol of the World.” She claims that she doesn’t consume more garlic than the average person, but if you lean really closely to her face while she’s talking and inhale deeply (you should probably waft) you will overwhelmed by intense garlic breath. Hayley spends her free time cooking, drawing, dancing, and training to become a professional whistler/beatboxer (A Cappella groups, watch out!). She is also extremely passionate about tea and wants to go to tea-making school. Ath tea is pretty much the only reason why she’s at CMC. Hayley’s future ambition is to start a non-profit that builds in developing countries; she built Stark Hall with her bare hands for practice. Starkies, get ready for a great year with the legendary Hayley Peterson!
Kwali Liggons (Fawcett): Kwali “K-dogg, Kwa-ray, Koala, Kway” Liggons (also known to his friends as “Kway Lee” — legend has it, he is related to Bruce Lee) hails from the streets of Chicago. When he’s not washing his face six times a day (15 minutes each time), cleaning his ears out 5 times a day, or studying Mandarin, Kwali enjoys singing Queen Bey in the shower, playing “non-basic” pranks, and whipping out his dance moves at BLOC. With a side cut in his afro like Cristiano Ronaldo’s and a tall statuesque figure, Kwali is well on his way to achieving his lifelong dream of becoming a Ralph Lauren or Zara model. Though his irrational fears of ketchup, mustard and dandruff have proven to be significant hurdles, one thing’s for sure—this koala cub ain’t afraid of no fierce cats. Look for this IR major jetting across the world (or just campus). He’s ready to take Fawcett by storm. “I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle.” –Kanye Kway Lee
Kelsey Gohn (Auen): Kelsey is an Econ-Psych Major hailing from Amish country Pennsylvania (think horse and buggy), which you could never guess given her affinity for all things techie. Kelsey spent last semester in the Silicon Valley Program. The program was amazing, but Kelsey is ridiculously happy to be reunited with her two true loves: Scripps cookies and Mudd pizza (sorry, Michael). You can find her running from place to place — a needed skill for the new RA of the far away land of South Quad. If you see her on campus, you should ask her thoughts on work-life balance (she’s literally the biggest expert on it under 30 — no joke) or more importantly how on earth she has been able to keep her beta fish alive for more than a year. Her and Kanye (the beta) are super excited for the amazing views from Auen. If you ever need to find her, you need only follow her coffee addiction to the Motley or the Mudd Starbucks. If you ever get locked out, be sure to bribe her with coffee. But a note of caution: San Francisco ensured she only loves the best of the best. So stock up on your Blue Bottle, y’all.
Laura Hayward (Apartments): Originally from Palo Alto, this California girl is unforgettable. At CMC, Laura is a Human Biology major and is a LTA on campus. Well-known for her athletic capabilities, Laura is a leader on the soccer field as a defender for the CMS Women’s Soccer Team. Laura’s charm is undeniable and her contagious smile will quickly win you over. Her ideal Saturday night involves falling asleep listening to Harry Potter audiobooks while sporting a stylish satin sleeping mask. Fun facts: She is rumored to have lived off of protein bars for an entire year and has a much cooler twin brother.
Rae Brookshire (Apartments): Rae Brookshire… R.A. Brookshire. Her name screams authority. And why wouldn’t it? Her hair is full of secrets…Your secrets. Don’t cross her. Rae likes to run. She also hates to run. Rae likes to talk about running—she’s doing it right now. Rae will always let you into your room, unless it turns out she’s locked out too and actually needs to buy a 9th ID card. She majored in PPE because she gets to spend time with intellectual older guys like Rousseau, Marx and Rawls. If you’re a mature, gentlemanly scholar who enjoys the outdoors and doesn’t mind someone talking endlessly about running, you can find her hunched over a cup of coffee at snack like a gremlin guarding its gold. She fears older dentists but wouldn’t mind marrying one who has Miles Davis on vinyl.
Austin Wu (Apartments): Austin Wu may seem like a regular everyday Joe, but he is actually a world class superhero. Not only is he going to save lives when he becomes a doctor, he also works undercover organizing community service events through CCE and as the president of AMSA (American Medical Student Association). Okay, listen up ladies, because when Austin Wu is not off saving the world, he is a full time musician. You can find him rocking out with friends, jamming on his guitar to artists like Ed Sheeran, Ben Howard, or John Mayer. And when these guys aren’t enough, he’s writing his own music. Be sure to ask him about his hit single, Tiger Mom. And somehow he still finds time to shoot hoops, dazzle on the piano, and crush in Super Smash Bros. So now that we’ve established how amazing he is, Austin’s idea of a dream date is one where you and he can go skydiving, only to land in a place where this SoCal native can finally see it snow. Then, as you chow down on kale chips, you can teach him how to burp. This is Austin, so get ready apartments, because your year will never be short of entertainment.
