Confidence is Built, Not Found
Confidence isn’t something that comes easily.
It’s never about waiting for the right moment but making the moment right. It comes with time.
Over the past few years, being confident in who I am, what I do, and the people and causes I represent has helped shape me into someone more at ease around others and better able to communicate clearly.
You don’t have to be the loudest to be confident, but it takes time and effort.
To me, confidence is internal. It’s about processing, decision making and action, or the decision not to do something. It’s also the ability to revisit and change your mind when needed.
The ability to stand on a stage, deliver a strong presentation, to have a presence in a room, to not be nervous is an outward manifestation that can only come with time, with practice, and being out there. That’s the external side.
Right now, I feel that this is my story, one of emergence. From standing at the back of the room to stepping forward on stage, from internal processing to outward confidence.
I have spoken about stepping forward, turning up, but the last part that also needs highlighting is getting involved. Micro-interactions are vital for relationship building and understanding how things align with you. That all helps to build the two sides of confidence.
Getting involved also builds recognition. I’m often surprised when panellists and speakers at the front name check me at events. While it can feel embarrassing, that processing part of my mind understands more and more about how it is all linked.
For example, when I started my ParkLife on Tour blog (around innovation spaces and key people), there was a purpose in mind, but I didn’t get a feel for how it was working and its value. To me it was an online thing to start conversations, but Sharon Jones invited me to speak about it at her Defence Innovation Champions Network event. This was to about 50 people on Teams as well as a roomful at the Defence BattleLab.
Given where X-Net in moving workwise, this hit the mark 100%. Building up the recognition makes it easier for people to make the ask.
You don’t have to do something successful to build your confidence. Often the stuff we try won’t work, so would that mean we get into a confidence slump? It’s the try and testing, gaining new skills and information is the confidence part.
My advice for building confidence? Look to your network. Surround yourself with people who align with your values, ask for their advice and support, and be ready to give back.
Confidence isn’t perfection, it’s progress. Each step forward strengthens not just your belief in yourself but also how you connect meaningfully with others.
