Defining Character

It’s not just about the content you create — it’s about the person behind the message.

If people can’t relate to you, they won’t join you.

I see character as how you interact with people and the world, shaped by experience and maturity. It’s the personal wrapper around your core values, the hand you shake, and the conversations you have.

I’ve had people be so supportive of me that I want to be just as supportive of others.

I have had people be so hospitable to me in their homes, that I try to be the best host when others come to visit. I’ve also experienced bullying, but that doesn’t mean I have any inclination to bully others. Character influences the decisions you make, guiding you to become the person you want to be.

The recent riotous events have taken me aback.

I left our local micropub on Sunday feeling deflated, with memories of the 80s churning in the pit of my stomach. After spending an entire afternoon in the glorious company of my community — where people brought vinyl records of all genres and enjoyed the variety — I knew I had to go home and face the news of violence and disorder. It was a stark contrast to the supportive environment I had just experienced, where everyone enjoyed each other’s song choices, and I even received good-natured teasing for starting my album on the wrong side.

I exchanged messages with the pub owner, who reminded me that my blog about Southbourne played a big part in their decision to move down from London. It’s heartening to hear how others see more in me than I often see in myself.

I’ve shared my journey on various stages, and there’s a call to action that I want to tweak slightly. I, and others, have often said to “find your tribe” to get the support you need — support that has greatly benefited me.

For me, that tribe has mainly been the You Are The Media community. For others, it might be the Atomic group or Espresso+. But for someone just starting out, my advice now would be ‘find your few.’ This means two or three people you can truly connect with, create content with, help improve skills, and support each other.

A ‘find your few’ I admire includes Shelley Rostlund, Imogen Jones and Mark Franklin. They make time for each other, meet regularly, and travel together. I love that.

One thing I’ve moved on from is the labels of introvert and imposter syndrome. These may have been phases in your life, but they shouldn’t define you. Let your character shine through.

Character is something that shapes us by the experiences we face and the identity we form.