Reducing your Life Debt to have a Rich Life

David McThomas
Coaching Conversations
3 min readMay 16, 2023

We all carry some form of debt in our lives. Financial debt is the most obvious, but emotional and mental debt can be just as burdensome. This debt can come in the form of regrets, missed opportunities, expectations from others, and societal norms that we feel we must conform to. These forms of debt can prevent us from living a rich and fulfilling life. In this article, we’ll explore the three main forms of life debt — the shoulds, the if only’s, and the what other people think — and how we can reduce them to create a richer and more meaningful life.

The Shoulds

  • The “shoulds” are expectations we place on ourselves based on external factors such as societal norms, family values, and personal beliefs.
  • To reduce your life debt from the shoulds, start by identifying which expectations are truly important to you and which ones you can let go of.
  • Prioritize your own values and goals above others’ expectations of you. Learning to say no to commitments that don’t align with your priorities can be a powerful way to take control of your life and reduce the burden of shoulds.
  • Comparing ourselves to others and feeling like we should be doing what they’re doing can be detrimental to our well-being. By letting go of these should be’s, we can create a life that is true to our own desires and values.

The If Only’s

  • The “if only’s” are regrets and missed opportunities that we dwell on. These thoughts can prevent us from moving forward and focusing on the present.
  • To reduce your life debt from the if only’s, practice gratitude and mindfulness. Focusing on what you have and can do in the present can help you appreciate the opportunities and experiences availableto you.
  • Embrace the present moment and release the grip of past regrets and missed opportunities. It’s important to remember that we can’t change the past, but we can change our perspective on it.
  • Every experience, whether positive or negative, is an opportunity for growth and learning.

The “What Other People Think”

  • The “what other people think” is the social pressure we feel to conform to others’ expectations or opinions.
  • To reduce your life debt from the “what other people think,” focus on your own values and priorities. Recognize that everyone has different opinions and perspectives, and it’s impossible to please everyone.
  • Be true to yourself and make decisions based on what aligns with your own values, rather than seeking external validation.
  • Surround yourself with people who support and encourage you, rather than those who judge or criticize you. By surrounding yourself with positive influences, you can build confidence in your own beliefs and values and reduce the influence of external opinions.

Final Thoughts

Reducing your life debt from the shoulds, if only’s, and what other people think can be challenging but can lead to a rich and fulfilling life. By prioritizing your values and goals, embracing the present moment, and focusing on your own opinions and perspectives, you can release the burden of life debt and live a true life. Remember that it’s never too late to start reducing your life debt and creating a rich and meaningful life for yourself.

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David McThomas
Coaching Conversations

Dedicated to unlocking Human and Organisational potential, through Professional Coaching and Powerful Breakthrough Questions