The Fear of Not Knowing, the answer (FONK)

Have you ever been in a situation where you may be running a session, some training or facilitating a ceremony and you are concerned that questions may arise that you won’t be able to answer?

When I first started my journey in Coaching in the Agility space, I had the belief that I should know as much as possible as I should be able to advise people on what is right and what would be best in specific situations.

The need to know the answer

For me, this still pops up on occasion; however, not nearly as much as it used too early on in my career. Instead, these two things have replaced it:

• Powerful Questions over Quick Answers: Anybody can come up with a quick answer if we are not answering a Breakthrough Question then what is the point.
• Focusing on the present: The present is where we have full dominion and where change and growth happens.

Let me share an example of a situation that I have experienced many times and how the story would go with my early Coach self and the Coach I am today:

Situation: Team Retrospective, the team has reflected, a feeling of dissatisfaction surfaces about the delivery of the past sprint.

Team Member: Scrum Master/Agile Coach I don’t think we delivered well last sprint, what should we change to get better. We said we would deliver all of these stories and we did not even get close.

Me(Early in Career): At this point, I would think I should know the answer. I should have the training and experience to answer this. I would begin jumping into solving this not to be perceived as someone who doesn’t know.

Me(Now): I would ensure all voices are heard to see if this concern is shared. If so, I would ask them questions to try and understand what it is they want:

If we can imagine we are standing here today with even more success than what we have achieved, what could that be?

How would that newly created success change who we are right now?

How would it impact the teams and people around us?

This would allow us to go way beyond the initial concern and surface information to something else of real meaning to the team. We could then work at looking into how we can create this success for ourselves moving forward.

If you find yourself in a situation like the one above, I urge you to keep these principles in mind:

• Equality: You must ensure you have all voices heard, and you create the opportunity for people to share and hold each other’s perspective.
• Past To Present: Don’t get stuck in the past and second-guessing decisions made. Accept they are made with the best intent and focus on the now, the success you want to see and feel in this moment. Positivity is key!
• Change: Get the to real and fundamental change they want this success to bring to strengthen and amplify it. If the success won’t change anything, then why seek it in the first place? Is there something else that is even more important?
• Impact: Expand the scope to understand the broader impact of this success to create something more compelling for the team to get behind.

As Scrum Master’s, Coach’s, Facilitator’s etc. letting go of needing to be the one with all the answers open’s up a new and even more powerful space as it begins to fill with the collective intelligence and voice of the team.

Of course, remembering you are a part of that as well and your observations and opinions are also essential to explore.

Thanks for reading and dont let the Fear of Not Knowing take over