25 Life Lessons You Taught Me Dad

I was recently asked by a friend…

What it felt like to have a dad?

I found it to be a profound and vulnerable question. I was taken aback at first by the magnitude of the inquiry. Immediately after hearing this genuine and curious question, I could feel a void within my friend. An emotional wound that penetrated their soul and expanded from birth, to adolescence and into adulthood. While the question carried a level of pain, abandonment and confusion, it was being inquired from a place of love, forgiveness and healing.

Extremely touched by the question, I told my friend I needed to truly reflect on it. They asserted for me to take my time and ended the conversation by asking…

What lessons have you learned from your father?

I have thought about these questions over the last two weeks and the unique relationship my older brother and I share with my dad. Due to the vastness of the questions, my thoughts have journeyed from being born and living in Harlem, New York to the cross country move at age six to sunny Los Angeles, California.

My dad’s parenting always sought to reconcile the tension between having my brother and I understand the realities of the world, while ensuring that we never accepted the status quo as inevitable.

From the delivering room in 1991, to the classroom and playing field…my dad has always been by my side and on my team. He has witnessed my lowest moments and greatest achievements.

He has played a multitude of selfless roles as coach, motivator, provider, educator, truth teller and role model. As my brother and I have matured, the relationship has transformed from a dad and son role into a genuine, authentic, open and truthful friendship.

I understand the magnitude and epidemic of young boys and girls navigating this precious life fatherless. While I am beyond grateful for the unconditional love and support I have received these last twenty-five years from my dad, I understand with this realization comes responsibility…to provide guidance, love, mentorship, access and opportunities to those who have not had the parental privilege and foundation that was transferred to me upon birth.

This Father’s Day I continue to pay homage to my dad and the countless of men who have shaped me while depositing invaluable wisdom, positivity, capital and pure love into the essence of who I am today and strive to become tomorrow.

And to my dear friend…and the countless of other young boys and girls as well as men and women navigating this life, battling with this same question of what it feels like to have a dad…

While I will never truly understand the void and pain you endure, know that I value you. I value your story, your strength and courage. While at times moments might seem dark, realize deeply you are never alone.

May the following twenty-five lessons I have acquired from my dad bring love, comfort, inner peace and healing to your already divinely brilliant and beautiful life…

1. The most important asset you will ever have is time. Use your 86,400 seconds…1,440 minutes…24 hours wisely and earnestly.
2. Treat everyone you meet with a sense of dignity, compassion and love. We all have a story to tell, so take time to actively listen to someone else’s journey.
3. Everything that looks and feels good, is not always good for you.
4. Life is about constant evolution.
5. Commit to living a life of honesty. Be honest with yourself and to others. It will set you free and keep you from toxic internal and external conflict.
6. Each obstacle is an opportunity to learn, grow and prosper forward. Never stop moving!
7. Follow your passions, the money will come.
8. Stand up to the face of injustice and inequality. Do what is right, not what is easy.
9. It costs absolutely nothing to be kind.
10. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
11. If you love something, set it free.
12. You are the artist of your life. Paint and manifest the story you envision while taking ownership of all decisions you make on your journey.
13. You do not need to prove your masculinity. Laugh, cry and think while simply being who you are.
14. Use storytelling to empower and inspire another life.
15. Allow your genuine curiosity to be your wings.
16. Celebrate and embrace all of who you are. You are already complete and enough. There is no replica of you.
17. Never let a day go by without your loved one’s knowing they are valued and appreciated.
18. It will take time, patience, courage and perseverance to hone your craft. Trust the process and discomfort towards the road to mastery.
19. The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. Take time daily to be with yourself not by yourself. You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.
20. True happiness and success lies within you. Change your thoughts and and your life will follow.
21. Your daily rituals and spending habits illustrate your priorities.
22. Let go of yesterday and the anticipation of tomorrow by living and thriving today.
23. Be at your best when your best is needed. Your best is needed everyday you have a pulse.
24. Do not compromise who you are to be liked. Be more concerned with your character than reputation.
25. Follow your heart and intuition. It is the only compass you will ever need.

About the Author:

Kimati A. Ramsey is an innovative brand strategist, inspirational educator and motivational speaker who graduated from the University of California, Berkeley. His educational, career and life management strategies have empowered thousands of student-athletes, high school and college students to seize opportunities and turn dreams into realities. Stay connected at www.kimatiramsey.com.