“Eating together, by itself, is not necessarily an indicator that community has been formed around food.” — Rabbi Ethan Tucker (found on Casper Ter Kuile)
I’ve found all my coaches through my network of colleagues and friends. But there are other ways to find them: a quick Google search of your keywords or getting one through your workplace. There are also a growing number of platforms that do AI-based matching such as BetterUp (for employees), coach bots and VR coaching i.e. Marmot Labs, all of which expand our options of making choices about who we work with and how we experience coaching.
Different approaches to coaching deliver different results i.e the classic GROW Model, Integral Coaching, Performance Coaching and others. Different coaches work with different life areas: career, wellbeing, relationships etc. Some coaches work with all areas and focus on a theme that translates across all of them such as: confidence, authenticity, voice etc. To narrow these factors down, start with these questions and continue with some research:
• What outcome do I hope to achieve from coaching?
• What do I most need this person to do for me?
• What are my non-negotiables in terms of who this person is?
Before settling on a coach, ask all the questions you want to ask them. If all feels good and you’re ready to start, there will normally be an onboarding process which should involve a co-created coaching agreement, a GDPR policy in which you have information about your date use, where you might make a complaint and get outside support if needed at any point.
Once you get a coach, it can be a less straightforward process to assess whether the coaching is working. Here are a couple of things to reflect on when asking:
How do I know the coaching is succeeding?
- You’re making tangible progress on your goals and you have the results to show for it
• You feel respected, safe, supported
• You are clear about the coaching methodology
• You are clear about how, when and for how long you will be working together — there is consistency and punctuality
• You feel free to express yourself and your needs — you are able to negotiate the partnership comfortably and honestly
• You can bring your concerns about the coaching itself to your coach and you can have an open dialogue about it
• If you are asking yourself should I leave my coach, there might be something going on — think about outside support if the decision isn’t clear cut
• You are given the space to find your own solutions, rather than being pushed to follow the coach’s beliefs and life experience
• After the sessions, your energy feels high, not necessarily always, but there is a real felt sense in your body that this is working
• The conversation flows naturally, without interrupting or talking over each other — you don’t force yourself to maintain the connection
For more on this theme, check out this free course on Open University about coaching and mentoring and how to choose the right coach. (Week 7)
I’m Iacob, a certified coach in London, working globally.
I work with three themes: autonomy, voice and integration as described here. I offer you space and support for reflection, accountability and structure to explore how these themes show up in your job, career, business, self-belief, gender expression and relationship with conflict.
Find out more on my website here. If you resonate with these blog posts, I’d love to meet you. Get me on: firstname.lastname@example.org.