How to use Thumoslang’s “Relation” concept while building a group

Understand the history you have the ability to create

Jairson Ascencao
Feb 29 · 3 min read

This article is useful for any group looking to create stronger dynamics between the members.

I decided to write this article due to this following line of thinking.

  1. As new people join us, we need to be able to adapt and help offer them what they need.
  2. The problem is, I will never be able to predict what new people will want to do as they join. So, similar to my “human relation first” mentality (which I will explain below) I need to focus on creating spaces for people to have human relations first, and then worry about the work.

What is a Relation?

Thumoslang is a mathematician and a psychology student’s attempt to create a social education system using the power of logic alongside psychology to make the objective social world easier to “see.”

One of those concepts is what we call the “relationship count” lesson, and it gives you the ability to objectively count the number of relationships that you have, by giving you a better definition of the word relationship.

I’m not going to give you the whole lesson, you can watch it here, but I’ll give you a simple quick walk through:

So, you can only have a relation “ship” with someone if you have more than one ongoing relation with them. A relation is a purposeful involvement and what that means is that both of you chose to involve with each other for a specific reason, short or long.

Most people have many relations, but few relationships. The reason that multiple relations with the same person is the necessary limit for a relationship, is because the ability to see that person in multiple roles deepens your understanding of their character, otherwise known as their relational inclinations. Without that deeper understanding, what you get can be a very shallow vision of a person’s humanity, their individual human way of reality.

The more relations you have with another individual, the deeper your relationship. The question I am to answer today, is what are the relations that members of Haven can have with each other, if they so choose to involve.

Something I recently started to do was to start looking for the quickest way to open up an involvement with another person as a human first, such as while working my day job at Chipotle, by asking the simple question “How are you doing?” while speaking with the customers as they come in. I personally believe relating to someone as another member of humanity is the first and most important relation to open up, and so always work to include those near me in that relation first. You could also call this the universal “social” relation.

Power, that means, influencing potential. Collaboration, that means, joint intellectual effort. The reason that many of us have chosen to involve with Providence Haven is because we believe in the power of collaboration to influence the potential of our lives.

The reason that a relationship must have relations that are ongoing is because without regular involvement, you never build shared history, and it is shared history which is the most meaningful to your connection with those other beings. Especially when that shared history is directly consequential to your future, and the future of those you involve with.

Choose your own adventure

When thinking about our facilities, I see different levels of involvement.

At first, I thought that I had to work to get people to involve with one another, but now I’m seeing how that’s not true at all, and that in fact my time would be better served simply creating the spaces for people to involve, and then letting them pick and develop their own relations once they discovered that possibility. In fact, I’m sure you guys prefer it that way. So, here is some food for thought.

Everyone in our group is on their own path to their individual success. Each of us has valuable insights into different genres and intellectual pursuits. How are you leveraging your ability to create shared history between you and the other dream chasers of Providence Haven? Start by asking yourself what ongoing relations you have with the other members you regularly see.

Relation, that means purposeful involvement.

Involvement, that means, causing inclusion.

Thanks for checking this out, have a wonderful day, Jairson


Our offense on a great Black Mountain

Jairson Ascencao

Written by

Cape Verdean, Climber. “The individual is far more powerful than they’ve been led to believe.” Build a home with me?



Our offense on a great Black Mountain

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