My Ideal Self, My Deliberate Family, and My Personal Philosophy

How the hell do I put these things into balance?

Jairson Ascencao
Jan 13 · 4 min read

Alright, time to do a little personal journaling. I need to decide what the limits are that I will never change. Without knowing those things, I will never have a shred of integrity, and people whose opinions I value will always be able to sway me to make decisions I regret. To figure this out, I’m going to use a bit of Thumoslang so that everything is clear cut and simple.

[2] The first definition that is useful is notion, which means imperfect thought. I make most of my decisions based on my notions, and that is why my integrity has been awful at times. I never sat down and ironed out the logic to my innermost thoughts and beliefs, and I need to tonight.

[3] The second useful Thumoslang definition is idea, which means action proposal. I thought I had a lot of ideas until I realized that most of what I thought were ideas never drove me to action, and so, in the end were useless when it came to driving me towards the person I want to become. From this point forwards, its time for idea creation.

[4] I don’t exactly know what I’m doing perfectly, but lets start with my ideal self. I know that if I don’t know my destination, there’s no point to thinking about either my filter (personal philosophy) or my family. My lifelong goal is to create a profound change in how humans join forces with one another.

My lifelong goal is to create a profound change in how humans join forces with one another.

[5] Currently, we as humans have our lives filtered out into many compartments. Generally, we spend time with our friends for fun, we spend time with our family because we should, and we spend time with our colleagues to make money. But what if that changed? What if all those lines were blurred?

[6] The future I see is one where individuals realize the power of their consequential relationships. Translating from Thumoslang, that means a future where we are purposefully adding to the life potential of every single person we see regularly, and they us in return. Imagine a world where your best friends and blood family members are your daily collaborators, and together you work to ensure the most positive future of each in your group.

[7] Here is what I truly want to become.

The person I truly want to become is the revolutionary that makes this future possible for each and every person who desires the end it will bring. Deep, loving, lifelong connections.

[8] Now that my ideal self is clear, what makes sense for me to decide is my personal philosophy. This is the decision-making filter that I will use to ensure that I aim like an arrow for my ideal self. Somehow, this philosophy has to balance with the fact that I want to promote the ideals of my family. In Thumoslang, family means unbreakable relationship, and I use it to describe every person currently in my life that I want to be in contact with until the day I die.

[9] My personal philosophy has to ensure that my actions lead towards a future where people live alongside their daily collaborators, rather than separated into nuclear family units. For now, my personal philosophy is “Only consequential relationships.”

For now, my personal philosophy is “Only consequential relationships.”

[10] Wow, that feels good. Alright, let me evaluate it and see if the philosophy prevents me from abandoning my family or causing those relationships to end while on my journey to my ideal self. This personal philosophy means, “only ongoing relations that are significantly necessary.”

This personal philosophy means, “only ongoing relations that are significantly necessary.”

[11] If a relationship is significantly necessary to both me and the other person, neither of us will ever want to end it. If I am acting, it must be for my significant relationships, otherwise I should stop what I’m doing. This is really close, but I feel like it doesn’t do enough to stop me from ending my deepest relationships for the sake of other consequential connections. Here’s a better version: “Only consequential relationships, deliberate family above all”.

Only consequential relationships, deliberate family above all

[12] This one feels more solid, but I have to test it again. “Only ongoing relations that are significantly necessary, relationships that have been documented as unbreakable above all.” Ooh baby, that’s some good logic. I can sleep happy now. 3:17 am.

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