Staring at the Sun in Apia Forest, Samoa © 2009 Flickr: naiice/3773868149

I’m just a salesman

who finished studying Media & Computing.

I’m just a former salesman.

What drives me today is where I didn’t succeed in before. Here’s how and why I’m living my dream.

Child

When I was in elementary school I so desperately wanted to be in the 90's “Mini Playback Show” on television moderated by Dutch Marijke Amado, but I couldn’t express it. And to be honest, I only had a bathroom singing voice, if you know what I mean.

When I was 12 (right before secondary school, German “Gymnasium”) I wanted to join a soccer club, after having spent 3 or 4 years playing in my leisure time before. But I couldn’t express it and listened to my parents who recommended 100% focus on being a clever pupil. At that time I wasn’t courageous and strong enough to articulate my will convincingly.

Young adult

Having accomplished my “Abitur”(general qualification for university entrance) later on with a not very good performance, I was eager to do better in the upcoming training as a salesman which I did: Very good grades, only 2 years of training (instead of 3) and special attention of my former boss. I repaired the damage of my bad Abitur results, for sure!

But it’s important to note that my training as a salesman was not my primary choice. Originally I wanted to become a media designer (German “Mediengestalter”) which I failed to apply for.

Why, you might ask? Not because I couldn’t express it. I simply didn’t have the skills nor the talent and couldn’t convince the HR / recruiting people of my willingness to learn this craft.

University

I guess that’s the reason I applied for Int. Media & Computing at the HTW Berlin, University of Applied Sciences, which should serve as a training similar to media design. Actually it was more about computing / programming (= switching between true and false) than designing (= moving in the gray area) which left me thinking whether I’m doing the right thing.

After the first semester I was sure to give up this program at an early stage, as I’m not so much into programming. At Gymnasium I canceled my programming course as I found it too hard for me to succeed in it. But I adapted to the situation and made them my studies.

Child, again or still

Seven years later and since the successful colloquium of my Master’s thesis two days ago I can call myself an M.Sc. of Int. Media & Computing. With an enjoyment and excitement for the not so heavy code programming and a focus on HTML5 and open web standards I’ve developed a special excitement for the web as the ideal place for people to share and care.

All that time I was especially motivated by the things I couldn’t do when I was a child (the Mini Playback show and soccer club) and a young adult (my failed media design application). They made me succeed with my Bachelor’s thesis to be released as a book by a publishing company and my Master’s thesis whose creative output was a short film called Single* (2013) which can be seen online on YouTube and Vimeo.

Both, writing a book and making a film, were dreams I was able to make come true. Although they did not fully fill the gaps of my childhood dreams they filled a vary large part of it.

50+ years to fill the gap

My job for the rest of my life is now to fill the part that’s left. That’s about 50 and more years time.

I’m 29 years now, and this was just a little story from a man (and still an inner child) who had a goal, took several detours, and didn’t achieve it (yet), but almost.

Still life goes on, and so does the struggle finding one’s place on this wonderful place called earth.

Thank you, life!

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