Why you help (and why „sex“ helps you)
You help because you have everything you need. You don’t need help yourself, so you give a hand.
Your goal is to help people to have everything they need.
A need is born naturally
What people need depends, there is no one formula. But people usually need:
- the ability to move (or be moved),
- nutrition,
- physical power (e.g. muscles),
- head power (e.g. cognitive abilities),
- play and interaction (e.g. sports and conversations),
- as well as a place to be on one’s own (usually your room, apartment or shelter) for reflection and calm.
You will define your own formula of life and it will evolve the more you mature. How can such a formula look like? Personally, back in 2009, I defined my need formula of life as the following:
- Survive
- experiment
Its short form is „Sex“, and it has become my mantra, the personal shortcut which reminds me of my actual basic needs: I want to survive in this world because there is so much to experiment. That’s it. What’s you basic need formula?
A want is created artificially
My mum recently bought new shoes for me (a surprise). I didn’t need new shoes neither did I want them. After a short explanation that I had everything I need and that my broken shoes were fine (because I will wear them until my feet touch the ground) I emphasized that I have everything I need. There’s nothing more I need.
That’s why a want is a different pair of shoes. A want is what you come up with, a want is the result of context whereas a need is the result of your natural instincts.
I consider a want the bonus on top of your needs. A want is a nice to have. A want is not what you need.
Criticizing my own need formula of life („sex“) I could say that surviving and experimenting is actually a want because actually what you need is your existence. Or is your existence, in fact, a want because the second you breathed oxygen for the first time maybe your want to survive (instinct) was created?
How can you consider your existence in life a need when you were actually created by two other people and some biological magic? It becomes complicated. So, it’s helpful to set the stage for what you consider a want and a need. I tried, writing this text. Try it yourself, give it a shot. I’m looking forward to reading about your basic needs (and some wants) if you want ;)
PS: Did you notice I didn’t mention materialistic things? Interesting, right?
Originally published at Coastery.