Why I decided to Pray Today

Like everyone else, I am part of this world that sometimes consumes you entirely leaving you groping in the darkness for some light.

So, today, I decided to pray to God, the Creator of heaven and earth and in Jesus Christ His only begotten Son, who was born of Virgin Mary, was crucified on Golgotha, died and was buried and who on the third day rose from the dead and ascended to heaven.

As you may already have noticed, I am a Christian, a catholic for that matter, and it’s the faith and religion that I have grown up with alongside my devoted mum (Love you Ma!) dad and sisters.

Why I decided to pray today, was just like it happens to most of us, I felt, or have been feeling that, life is unfair, with too many moving parts and also guilty of not upholding the teaching of the Holy Bible and following the commandments of God. But the most weird one, which I am sure most of y’all go through, though (as I came to understand it being not true) that God is punishing you.

Lately, I have been beating myself up over where I am now, the kind of person I am now against where I wanted to be or the kind I person I was hoping to become. This self flagellation moment has clearly thrown me off balance because, feeling pity on myself, has made me forget the most important aspects and people in my life, the ones who really matter.

For a while, I have been having this guilt and fear inside me. I feel that my ignorance, stubbornness and recklessness have led me to this point I am at now. It’s not a good feeling, seeing you or feeling you are crumbling like a cookie, so am taking it all away, and this prayer today has a purpose.

Along the journey, which has been marred by serious challenges and explosive breakdowns, I have triumphed. Being a Christian for me is real. Believing in God, is all I know despite my faith shaking and the darkness getting the best of me, I stretch out and reach for the light.

When I went to my knees today, my heart was racing. It’s been a long while before I really prayed to God, and as the days went by, leading to this moment, I felt the pressure inside building, a voice within me incessantly reminding me that whatever I am going through I need to pray and keep the faith of the Grace of God that has seen me through this far.

You see, with me, and my business, as I try to grow it, I want to move further with it, I want to get married and raise a family, I want to be a role model to other that my business can create employment for others struggling, that I can be able to design and legacy I would like to leave behind when am gone. One thing I discovered is, whenever I set these standards and goals for myself, when everything goes wrong or not as expected, I recline and beat myself up because in my mind I feel, ‘it’s my fault’ maybe I should have or could have and all the blah blah blah nonsense that goes with the pity party but hey, am just human.

This moments never lasts for my anyway, because at the end of the day, it all comes back to me and the question is always the same all the time “what will you do about it?”

Like today, first I pray, I ask God for forgiveness, and a unique recurrence of a statement in these prayers is ‘Give me the strength to overcome evil and the darkness’ I then proceed to Ask God for more insight, options and to make my vision clearer and give me the tools and resources to help me build a business that is focused on Him, God Almighty best interests. I may be a geek, or a nerd but that’s just me saying, I am a child of God, and in my heart I know where I want to go and how.

Secondly (which is about to follow am probably doing it while you read this) is I take the bible, open random and read, then maybe half way through, some memory of favorite bible verses and books will come up and I will quickly move over there. I love the book of proverbs, song of Solomon, Kings, Hebrews, the Gospels, among others, but each book embedded in there verses have an ability of inspiring me and allowing me to look at the expanse of the Power of God and His plan for us.

As I pray today, the feeling inside is that ‘I need to do this, more often’ not when I am down, out and clueless but as a servant to my Father in heaven. The major part of the guilt inside is when I dismiss the teaching of God and the scriptures to pursue my selfish interests that normally lead to sin and despair, I do not want that, that feeling like I am taking God for granted despite His Love for me that is without flaw and forever and abundant.

I do not want to hesitate, wondering ‘How should I pray today? What should I say?’ I just want to go on my knees, pray and make it a habit and transfer that discipline into every aspect of myself that I shall not only be praying to be forgiven, No, but praying to worship and acknowledge God as my Father and my belief in Jesus Christ His Son and the sacrifice on Calvary that was meant for me.

Today I want to pray that every day I shall live, praising and worshiping God in all that I do despite how challenging it’s going to be.

Living the word of God in a crooked world, is the hardest thing for anyone to go through today. The two are parallels and we are caught between these roads with a choice.

So today as I pray, I want to be genuine, I want to begin again to believe that, me being here right now and being able to even decide that I want to pray, is an act of divinity which only comes from God.

Have a blessed day everyone and please, feel free to share this.