Have You Met A Corporate Chaperone?
The boxes are ticked and the hoops have been jumped through, but now what else is going on in the corporate interview process?
Do you ever get that feeling during an interview that there’s something the hiring manager, or HR enforcer droid, sitting across the table or in the Teams window opposite isn’t telling you?
No, not that the potted plants in the background are in reality just rubber fakes, rented from a nearby office supplies company, nor that the filter coffee packets in the company’s excuse for a kitchen are actually filled with crushed Maxwell House¹ granules to save costs in HR’s cost saving budget, sorry, I mean “free coffee wellness” programme.
It’s something else, something that you can’t quite put your finger on.
They’re moving just that bit too quickly, swiftly answering the same cookie cutter questions that you have to ask about working hours, salary, and promotional prospects with the usual perfunctory and nondescript answers, but all the time pressing quickly forward.
Before you know it, you’re asked about notice periods, when you’d like to start, and HR v2.3 is scribbling down possible start dates. Then, as you nod discretely and exit the (chat) room you curse to yourself as you remember.
