It gets lonely being a software engineer.

Alexander Nguyen
Published in
4 min readJun 6, 2024


Nobody tells you how lonely it gets.

Personal reflection.

It gets lonely being a software engineer…

At first it seems exciting moving to New York or San Francisco for that new job.

You imagine being surrounded by like-minded techies and having tons of conversations about system design.

But after your first day at work that doesn’t happen. No one is making small talk with you on how to be a better java developer or how to build better microservices.

Most people around you go to work then go home. Then you go home and realize you’re not familiar with anyone.

It’s an evening dinner by yourself and it gets lonely. It’s ironic that there’s more than 10 million people between New York and San Francisco and you’re spending more time by yourself.

Being “surrounded” by tech didn’t pan out.

The struggle is real.

This was a struggle I dealt with a lot working in big tech.

Finding new friends has always been hard for everyone. If you’re in the tech bubble, you’ll be forced to be friends with other techies.



Alexander Nguyen
Writer for

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