The Last First Day Of School Ever

It’s that time of year.

The schedule is made. I’ve already paid a ridiculous amount of money for a parking pass. I’ve compared textbook prices and began to cry. I’m slowly trying to change my sleeping pattern. This is what happens late in August every year, but this year is different.

Since I was three years old, I’ve been a student. That’s almost 17 years of people asking me “what school do you go to?” That’s 17 years of me classifying a year into two seasons — school and summer. That’s 17 first days of school. However, this September will be my last first day of school. I’m heading into my fourth and final year of university and to be very honest, part of me is terrified.

You see when you spend the majority of your life as a student, it becomes part of who you are. When people ask why you’re broke, you just tell them you’re a student. When you choose to solely do tequila shots at a bar, it’s okay because you’re a student. When you eat pizza and Kraft Dinner seven to a dozen times a week, it’s fine because, you guessed it, you’re a student. Any shitty job you’ve had to work has just been “a summer job” or “a part time job to fund my weekend drinking”. But now the title “student” will only be able to protect me from real adulthood for another eight months.

After these eight months, people will look at me differently. Binge drinking three days a week will no longer be acceptable. I’ll have to get a real job with an impressive title that pays more than minimum wage. I might even have to get married. Maybe have a couple kids. Take them to soccer practice. Who knows; after I leave student-hood we shall see what is expected of me.

So for the next eight months, I’m going to live it up. My last eight months of student-hood will be crazy. I’ll make sure of it. I’m going to wake up in Alaska and wonder how the hell it happened. I’m going to make a 30 foot snowman out of beer cans. Things are going to get weird in these eight months. If you are entering your last eight months of student-hood, I encourage you to take advantage of the title for all its worth. You’ll never be a student again, so enjoy it.

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