Being Bipolar
Anyone who has known me for a while knows about my illness. It’s given me sleepless nights, europhroic writing sessions, and a colorful view of the world.
It has made me compassionate and empathetic, probably more than I should be. I’m an understanding person with an incredible stigma I have to deal with.
Being Bipolar has been a roller coaster but it’s still not something I can speak about openly. The stigma surrounding mental illness is still strong, despite the fact that various celebrities have opened up about their experiences concerning mental illness.
It hurts to have people tell me that my illness isn’t real, that my feelings are selfish, or my favorite: you have no reason to be sad/ you need to calm down.
So to shed some light here is some of my experiences:
- I’m Bipolar type II, I’m mostly depressed and my episodes are long lasting. I could be Manic for months and Depressed a few more.
- I’ve tired to commit suicide, and no it’s not a selfish thought, quite the contrary. My attempts have been after believing to be a disappointment to the people in my life. I’ve always believed I’m replaceable, and I in fact still do.
- Psych Hospitals are not as bad as in the movies. My experiences are mostly positive.
- Medication is tricky. It takes years to find the right combination.
With all that in mind, I hope you can be kinder to your friends with mental illness, to consider your words before you speak them. Last but not least, we can’t just shut our illness off to your convenience. So, if it ticks you off, do your friend the favor and leave.
Nobody needs a false friend. I had one for years. I was the laughing stock of my town for quite a bit because of said friend. Living with a mental illness isn’t funny. It isn’t trendy or “cool.”
I’m not your charity case.
I’m human. I have feelings, I like to have a laugh with friends, watch movies, spend time with those I love. I like listening to music, and at times painting.
Please treat me as such, as a person, a human like you and not a nutjob, because I’m not.
