Break The Stigma, Suicide Is Not Selfish
What Chester Bennington’s death should have taught us.
Chester Bennington was an amazing musician, a father, and a husband. He also had many demons that he fought for a long time. The public was aware of a lot of his troubles, but there were some I am sure even his wife was unaware of. All the articles and comments that came out after his death made me feel even worse for him and his family. You cannot judge a person unless you know exactly how they felt or what was going on in their mind at that moment. To call a person who commits suicide selfish and believes they should not be mourned only hurts those that have had suicidal thoughts. It makes them feel even worse about themselves and it hurts the person’s family. How do you think these comments you make about him affect his children?
I am going to be completely honest and open with all of you. I want my readers to see what kind of dark place those that decide to take their own lives are in. Everyone needs to open their eyes to mental illness and suicide. We need to stop making this stigma worse and make it easier for people to be open and honest about their mental illness or addictions. Celebrities are regular people who deserve to be treated that way. I believe the stigma society has placed on mental illness prevents so many from coming forward and saying, “Yes, I struggle with demons every day and I can’t always be the happy person you think I should be.”
Now some truth from someone who has been to that very dark place and looked over the edge many times. I have suffered from depression, anxiety, and PTSD longer than anyone knows. As a young girl, I was victim to sexual abuse by someone I was supposed to trust. This hurt my self — confidence and ability to trust others, it only became worse over time. If you have never suffered from a mental illness you have no idea what is going on inside our heads every moment of our day.
Most days I can function and other days I cannot get out of bed. I constantly have a voice inside my head telling me how awful I am at everything. A voice telling me to stay in bed, don’t worry with your medicine it can’t possibly be working, and don’t believe or trust anyone. No one around you could possibly understand how you feel so you bury it deep inside and try to function like a “normal” person. Your voice will shame you even if you try to tell someone how you feel. Next thing you know you feel like you are a burden on everyone. You want to be happy and not cry all the time, you just want to be “normal” for them. The guilt of putting your children, husband, and family through this consumes you. Now you feel like you are drowning and no one can possibly save you.
That is the moment when the darkness washes over you and you enter the darkest, scariest place your mind has ever been. At this point, everything that voice has told you makes sense and you lean over the edge wondering if this is best. You could never imagine this feeling, you could never imagine what goes on in someone’s head when they’ve gotten to that point. I wouldn’t want anyone to imagine what it feels like, I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone. When the suicidal thoughts start running through your head, when the darkness consumes you the only thoughts in your head are about how everyone in your life would be better off without you. The last thing on your mind is any selfish thoughts — you are only thinking of everyone else and how this will make their lives better. They will no longer have to deal with a depressed failure bringing them down every day. You don’t want them to suffer from your pain and demons any longer.
I don’t know what makes a person take the next step. I have only peeked over the edge and I always force myself back. Unless you have personally felt these feelings or looked over the edge, you cannot judge people who have. You have no right shaming those that fight demons you couldn’t imagine. These people who decide there is no other way for them are in no way thinking selfishly. They think it will help those around them if they don’t have to deal with someone who constantly lets them down and is depressed all the time.
Instead of shaming these people, instead of making people who have a mental illness even more ashamed of speaking up and getting help, we should be encouraging everyone to get help. This stigma needs to be broken, people who are suicidal need to feel they can talk to anyone without being judged. Mental illness is real and is nothing we should feel like we must hide. Let’s spread awareness about mental illness and suicide prevention. Don’t judge what you don’t know, take a stand and help those who feel like they are drowning every day!
If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please don’t hesitate to get help!!
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1–800–273–8255
