Dealing With Generalized Anxiety Disorder
May is known as Mental Health Awareness Month and even though it has come to a close, I wanted to share a personal story about living with generalized anxiety disorder. The condition proves to be an epidemic in occurrence (it is reported to affect over 6.8 million people in the United States).
I happen to be one of the 6.8 million.
One may pose such questions as: What is that? How does it differ from the occasional bout of worry? How is it a mental health condition? Doesn’t everyone have anxiety from time to time? Is medical treatment that necessary? Quit being so dramatic!
I have stumbled upon countless online articles that seem to unleash a swarm of uneducated trolls, with distasteful comments that drive a wedge through the powerful words of the brave souls that have chosen to share their stories. And the unfair shame and eternal stigma that is placed upon the mental health community becomes all the more evident.
Generalized anxiety disorder goes far beyond the normal instance of panic. A single sentence has the ability to determine the functionality of an entire day. Mood fluctuations are frequent and depend on the outcome of a situation; if all appears well, it is a happy day. If there is the slightest impression that something is amiss, then one can spend hours or days in bed obsessing over what might be wrong. The mind has the ability to even drum up imaginary situations. The rumination grows to the point of the thoughts never leaving and time lost in such a senseless way. The time in bed can increase in longevity, lasting for months. No man made remedy helps. I’ve tried therapy twice. Therapy was not beneficial for me, because it provided me with more attention, which is something I never needed. I refused to examine my personal faults and therapy never gave me a chance to take responsibility for my actions.
I have had isolated incidents of anxiety that pointed to an underlying issue, aside from becoming attached to sympathy that I received from it. Some examples: as a sixteen year old, I experienced my first panic attack while learning to drive and have never attempted since. In the earlier days, I feared major appliances and only felt comfortable using the microwave. I am proud to say though that I have improved in the last eleven years. I have taken on the role of chef in my household these days. I clean as well.
What helps?
- Total reliance on Jesus Christ and Personal Accountability: I have found that total reliance on Jesus Christ can assist one in changing behaviors that may contribute to the worsening of an existing problem. A lot of my anxiety stems from my unhealthy interactions with those around me, and I am not afraid to admit it. Prayer helps one to take responsibility. Friends will not benefit life if one is not willing to examine where the source of their emotional stability comes from. It is important to make a conscious effort to cleanse away any toxicity that proves to be unhealthy.
- Medication: Medication has proved to be a huge help throughout my experience. I was formally diagnosed with the disorder as an immature eighteen year old college freshman. The desire for acceptance has always been of major importance to my soul. Even though it is easy for me to fall into anxiety, at that time I was not making the best decisions and brought a lot of turmoil onto myself. I do struggle to maintain a regular sleep schedule and it is easy for me to feel overwhelmed; medication has made it easier in those two areas of my daily life. I am a high strung individual and find it hard to relax, but again I do take responsibility for my part in the severity of my anxious situations.
- Hobbies: A favorite past time is important when anxiety is present. It may be almost impossible for one to focus on hobbies sometimes, but an outlet is necessary. I love to write and started my personal blog, Molly’s Zone almost four years ago. Creativity is special and driving focus somewhere else helps to distract the mind from trouble. I do not drive and do not get out as much as my able bodied peers (I also have mild cerebral palsy), and social media plays a huge part in the development of my anxiety filled situations, so a creative outlet is necessary. I am a better servant for Christ when I am not trying to feel accepted into something. I have come to realize that my mind will never think I am accepted and loved, so it is best to steer clear of situations that evoke that negativity that otherwise lies dormant inside of me. I am more faithful to Him when it is just Him and I. I know and appreciate the fact that I have a ton of people who care for me, and that’s great; however, the desire for acceptance rules my life if I choose to allow it access.
Generalized anxiety disorder is a challenge for anyone and treatments are not a one size fits all. I urge those who battle this adversary to consider prayer and a relationship with Christ as first options. Medications will regulate any chemical that may be imbalanced; however, that is often times only a fraction of the issue. I urge everyone to examine themselves and search for ways to improve their life as best they can. Enjoy life for what it is. Don’t take blessings for granted. A life of contentment and healthy change is possible.
