Don’t Cut Your Hair If You’re Going Through A Rough Time
It’s pretty much universally known that if a girl makes a drastic change to her hair, like cutting it short or dying it a crazy color, nine times out of ten it means she’s going through something rough. Why do we do this? When we’re going through something big, we think changing up our hairstyle is a great way to work through it.
Fair warning, I have been there, and it is not worth it. Don’t do it. Just don’t! I cut my hair after a really rough breakup, and it was the worst thing I could do for myself at the time.
I Decided To Cut My Hair
Back in 2014, I had been dating a man for four years when we broke up. It was a very difficult time in my life. When you’re with someone for that long and you expect it to be the real deal, it kind of shatters your world when you realize it isn’t.
We had started dating in college. After graduating, I moved to the town he lived in and started my life there. Think about this: it’s the first time I’m out on my own. This was my start to adulthood. I was taking this journey with him by my side. It’s hard not to find part of your identity within someone else.
I was so sure that this was my last relationship, that we would ultimately spend our lives together. Nope. When we broke up, I had to move out and get my own place. Lots of changes had to be made. It was heartbreaking, for the most part.
In some ways, I was invigorated. I would finally be able to do things that he didn’t want to do. I was kind of on this high of doing things for myself. I went to concerts. I decorated my new apartment. I hung out with friends more. Then, I decided to do the one thing I really shouldn’t have done: get a haircut.
A change in hairstyle sounded so enticing! I had fairly long hair, nothing too crazy, but still on the long side. I decided I wanted it shorter.
I went to the hair salon and got a cut. Now, here’s where I always get tripped up. The hair stylist cut my hair and then asked me what I thought about the length. I said I wanted it a little bit shorter. I totally forgot one big thing: your hair looks longer when it’s wet.
After she blow-dried my hair, I realized it was much short than I intended. I didn’t hate it, per se. But it just wasn’t what I wanted.
Post New Haircut: An Identity Crisis
I remember those first few weeks of being alone in my apartment. I was devastated following such a big change. I cried every single night. Sure, we hadn’t spent every single night together in our relationship, but for the last 2 years, we nearly had. All of a sudden, we weren’t. That, in itself, was hard to overcome.
Being without him and being on my own made me feel so lost. I thought I knew what my life was going to be, and just like that, the vision was gone. Then came the decision I’d made: to cut my hair.
I vividly remember looking into the mirror at my new apartment one day and I just didn’t recognize myself. The hairstyle wasn’t me. I felt so out of place in that look.
It was like the final nail in the coffin. Not only was I living on my own. Not only was I single for the first time in 4 years. I was already in an identity crisis. Cutting my hair made it that much worse. It was difficult. Maybe that sounds vain, but it really was. This was not the time to cut my hair so drastically.
Three Years Later, I Did It Again
After such a traumatic experience, you would think I had learned my lesson about cutting my hair. But again, I got that bug to want to cut my hair.
I wasn’t going through a rough time. In fact, I had just had a baby. I don’t even know what it was that made me want to do it, but I thought it would be a nice change to have shorter hair. So, I cut it!
I made the same mistake the time before. She asked if I wanted it shorter, while it was wet, and I said yes. When she dried it out, it was much shorter than I wanted.
Mind you, I was 2 months post-partum. I was already going through changes with my body. Despite losing nearly all the baby weight I had gained 3 weeks after giving birth, I was starting to gain weight back. My body had just changed, and it was frustrating to me.
Plus, I had this new little baby to take care of. Self-care was falling to the wayside. I didn’t have time to do my makeup anymore. I barely had time to wash my hair. The new haircut made me feel even less like myself, again. This was, again, the wrong time to make a change.
A Piece Of Advice
If you’re going through a big life change, whether it’s a breakup, motherhood, a new job, or what have you, really take into consideration whether a big change like a haircut is the right move. More often than not, it’s not going to make you feel better or more empowered. You might think it will help you feel more confident or new, but it tends to backfire. Don’t make a decision like that unless you know for sure, without a shadow of a doubt, it’s what you want.
