Every daughters first love
A poem about every daughters first love
Well… every lover in her life since you decided to leave has reminded her of you
Usually that would be ideal, fantastic and a dream to every little Daddy’s girl
Only you left her when she needed you most
You’ve missed her diploma, her accomplishments, her awards, her amazing moments
Still baffling her as to how a father can make an impact on a little girl’s life, then leave…
Never wondering “what is she doing”…
“Is she okay? Does she know if I love her or not…”
The way her heart sped up when she saw you,
Only to know the feeling when you leave, is something she’ll have issues with forever
But, you don’t know that happened anyway
You don’t know the tears she’s wept at night over you
Screaming “God… why me?!” Through the gasps and sobs, while shoving her head in a pillow
Thinking what she did wrong to push you away
Why she wasn’t enough for you to stay in her life
Some people lose their parents,
But, she’ll never figure out which is worse
Losing a parent you’ve been so close to your whole life?
Or losing a parent who was supposed to be close to you, but never died…
No… mourning didn’t consume her now black heart
Not death of a father…
Just death of a little girl who would scream through her tears to Mommy “Why doesn’t he love me?! Why am I not enough?! What could I have done differently?!”
Death to a little girl who still cries at night as an adult with a corporate job, a 401k, people who love her, and a good head on her shoulders
A little girl who died at 14 years old when she called her father on Father’s Day crying “Where are you it’s 4 o’clock?!”
Only to hear the grumpy, groggy voice on the other line say “I’m not feeling to well…let’s hang out next week…I promise”
Only promises have left a scar in her since then,
Promises don’t mean SHIT to her anymore and YOU ruined her.
You ruined the pure, raw and unscathed little girl who saw no wrong in anyone
Her first love, her everything…
The man who made a promise to love her forever …
Turned into the man who will break her forever.
