How Do I Know?

A daily look at depression.

Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

How do you know
when you’ve crossed
that very fine line that
divides sanity from insanity?

How do you know
when reality stops
and pretending begins?

How much of reality is real?
How do you know when pretending
becomes a way of life?

If I just stop
does everything else continue —
as if I never existed —
or made a difference to anyone?

How do I know?

I’ve pretended for so long
reality doesn’t seem to exist any longer.
Or has my pretending finally
become the reality that I’ve longed for?

I’m afraid to smile
it might turn to tears
and then my reality would
be for nothing — it would be for nothing.

But, how would I know?

Does my breathing,
my wanting, my needing
my heartaches
mean anything?

How do I know?