I Won’t Be Ashamed Of My Body Because You Are
I have been all shapes and sizes throughout my life. As a teen, I was very tall and thin. I could down a large pizza by myself and not gain a pound. Despite having the “ideal” body type, I was constantly picked on and shamed for being too skinny. I was constantly called flat chested and anorexic, but the one that bothered me most was Skeletor. As I got a little older I acquired some curves, as many girls often do. I then found myself being criticized for gaining weight. It seemed like no matter what size I was, it wasn’t right or good enough.
We value the opinions of strangers more than our own.
After I had my first child at 19, I had a really difficult time losing weight and getting back into shape. I had been relatively small for most of my life, so I took the extreme 50-pound weight gain very hard. I worked out incessantly, was always on some sort of diet, and skipped meals often. In hindsight, I was doing it all wrong, but society puts massive amounts of pressure on women to bounce back quickly after pregnancy, so I was desperate. After a couple of years, yes it took that long, I was down to my smallest size since high school. Much to my surprise and disappointment, I was degraded for my size once again. Friends and co-workers told me I was too small and looked sick. I found myself constantly trying to look the way everyone else thought I should look, but the truth was they were always going to find something to pick apart.
There are over 3 billion women in this world, and we are all expected to fit into this tiny mold.
After having my second son, it was even harder to get back into shape. My body just wasn’t what it used to be. Even with working out the right way, and making healthy eating a lifestyle, it wasn’t enough to get back the body I thought I was supposed to have. Clothes didn’t fit me right, I couldn’t stand looking at myself naked, and I felt terrible in my own skin. I will be honest in saying that I never did lose all of the weight after that pregnancy. When we found out I was pregnant with twins last fall, I was devastated, because I knew my body, well what was left of it, was about to be destroyed forever. It’s a sad world we live in when society has us so brainwashed that we believe our bodies aren’t normal, and we lose the excitement for the miracles we create.
I wish I could say the size of our bodies is the only thing women get shamed for, but unfortunately, we get ripped apart for everything. From the symmetry of our breasts to our complexion and the shine of our hair, all the way down to the length of our toes, someone will always find something wrong with us. There are over 3 billion women in this world, and we are all expected to fit into this tiny mold. But who chooses that mold? What gives them the authority to decide what is beautiful and what isn’t, what’s normal and what isn’t? Why are my stretch marks ugly? Why should I be ashamed of my thick thighs? Why should I have to hide my stomach rolls just because it makes you uncomfortable? Why do I even care what anyone else thinks?
It’s my responsibility to teach them that there are no flaws or mistakes in the female body; there is beauty in every unique feature.
All of the rules becomes exhausting. We spend more time caring about what other people think of us than we do actually enjoying our lives. We value the opinions of strangers more than our own. In a world filled with poverty, crime, pollution, prejudice, and injustice, why are people putting all of their energy into dismantling the appearance of others instead of the things that truly matter? You don’t have to love my body, in fact, you don’t even have to look at it. As far as I’m concerned, if you aren’t sleeping with me, it really doesn’t concern you. If I choose to embrace my body for what it is, that’s no one’s business but my own. What matters is that I’m happy and comfortable with who I am.
Since I’ve had my twins, I have been thinking a lot about the type of example I want to set for them. If I want my daughters to love their bodies, I need to love mine. Soon they will be watching me and soaking in every word I speak about myself like little sponges. Now is the time to get right with myself. It’s my responsibility to show my girls that no two bodies were created equally, so they simply cannot be compared. It’s my responsibility to teach them that there are no flaws or mistakes in the female body; there is beauty in every unique feature. From this moment on, I’m forgetting about societal standards. I’m taking the power back and no longer allowing others to make me feel inadequate for something as superficial as my body. I’m here to tell the world, I no longer care what you think of me. I created four beautiful and truly amazing children with this body. Every stretch mark and dimple tells a different story about my journey. The only thing that truly matters is how I feel about myself. I won’t be ashamed of my body because you are.
