Lullaby

Photo Courtesy of Jordan Bauer on “Unsplash”

I can’t fall asleep

the pillow is heated

by all the anxieties

that sing me

to sleep

burning bright

like the faint echo

of my phone screen

displaying a terrible

message of loss

The blanket

is a restraint

against myself

telling me

that I shouldn't

feel this hate

against myself

that I am beautiful

but my phone

says otherwise

displaying

images of

bones on bones

and miles of skin

that I cannot show

Honey is beautiful

and I am only sticky

in sweat

because I have a

burning hate

of the image in mirrors

and photographs

of an obscured

skin that holds no

beauty

compared to

the gardens

I have seen

I can’t fall asleep

because I’ve

been living in

a nightmare

of self-loathing

and I’m afraid

I’ll never wake up