Mixed Emotions on Mother’s Day
I’m so thankful to still have my mother here with me on Mother’s Day. I try to make the day all about her. But I can’t help but be a little sad on the day. I’m thirty-nine and still without children. I’m in no position to have them now, but it makes me fearful that I will never have them. Don’t get me wrong; I wouldn’t bring a child into this world until I can care for one.
Mother’s Day brings up many feelings for me. I feel a rushed feeling to become financially stable and married so I can have a baby. Until I have a child of my own, I try to make the day all about my Mom. For I know, some women have lost their mothers and can’t celebrate with them. And I’m thankful I still have my mother with me and can celebrate.
I pray every night that God will bless me with children. I’ve learned to leave it in his hands. If it happens, great, if not, oh well. The upside, I am grateful for the children I have in my life like my cousin’s kids, my friend’s kid’s, and family members little ones. I’ll still feel blessed.
I will not lie; my heart will break a little if I don’t get to be a Mom. But everything happens for a reason. And if God doesn’t bless me with children, that doesn’t mean I can’t live a happy, fulfilling life. I will say this, as much as God knows I want children, he’ll answer my prayers, no matter how long I have to wait. But for now, I’ll make Mother’s Day all about my Mom. I love you, Mom. Happy Mother’s Day!! You’re the greatest mother in the world!
