No Regrets
Most of us go through life distracted by everyday tasks that keep us busy, sometimes too busy to pay attention to what really matters. We don’t take the time to “smell the roses” very often, and when we do it is a quick sniff and then we are back to our busy lives.
Everything seems to race by in a sort of blur of events we call our life. Sure, we remember the important things like graduations, weddings, and the birth of our children, but it is the little moments that we don’t place any importance on that we will regret not appreciating. Eventually, the seasons will begin changing, and those people and things we didn’t take the time for will become regrets.
I am like most others. I get busy with my life. All the demands of my family, school, and writing keep me incredibly busy. So busy that I don’t take the time to appreciate the little things. It wasn’t until some recent events that made me stop and think. It seems like just yesterday that my kids were babies. Now my days are filled with babysitting my 19-month-old granddaughter.
It wasn’t until a recent event in my life that I really began to think about those regrets. Those small insignificant moments that I seemed too busy to appreciate and enjoy. Those moments that are irreplaceable. I found myself wishing I could go back and take notice of those things.
As I was going through my day, busy as always, I received a call from my aunt. My mom was in the hospital and wasn’t doing well. This wasn’t the first time I received a call like this. My mom has been sick for quite a while, so it is expected that once in a while there may be some issues. This call was different. Rather than my aunts optimistic tone telling me everything was going to be okay, she told me we needed to pray.
As I hung up the phone, I felt more alone and helpless than I remember ever feeling. I was more than 400 miles away, and all I wanted to do was hug my mom. I just wanted my mom. I couldn’t help but go to the dark side and wonder if her time was coming near. A panic filled me, and I knew I needed to see her.
With a hastily-planned trip, my family and I loaded in the car for the very long, very boring drive down interstate five. With nothing to do but stare out the window at a lot of nothing, this trip seemed to take longer than ever before. Even the miles and miles of cherry blossoms didn’t do much to deter my attention
When I was finally able to see my mom, it overwhelmed me. The woman who single-handedly raised five kids was replaced with one who was frail and weak. Rather than surprising her as I had planned, she looked more shocked and confused than anything.
As I sat beside her on her bed, holding her hand, I looked into her beautiful hazel eyes for some remnants of what she used to be. Slowly, I saw the sparkle return to her beautiful eyes, especially when she saw her great granddaughter.
It wasn’t long before the room was filled with laughter. My daughter began taking selfies with my mom which included videos using Snapchat filters. Even my mom was beside herself with laughter when she saw a woodpecker tapping on her head on the screen. I can’t remember the last time I saw her laugh so much and her smile that lights up the room.
Although my mom is still not well and has days that leave us in tears with worry, I am not going to take advantage of one second of my time with her. Whether it is on one of her good days, or the days where she is holding me tight and crying, I will take the time to appreciate whatever time I have with her.
It was a short trip and one I hated to end, but I was able to not only spend time with my mom, but a great deal of my family. It reminded me how important it was to take time out of my busy life to do things that matter, and this trip I did. I spent time with my brothers. I saw a niece I haven’t seen in nearly 10 years. I was able to spend time with my daughters and their babies, and my best friend of 25 years. This time instead of stressing about the logistics of the trip, I focused on my family and friends.
I guess the moral of my story is to take advantage of each and every second you can. Don’t let life become so important that you forget to take the time to live. Don’t let the forgotten phone calls pile up. Spend time with your family and friends doing something great or nothing at all. Just be together and appreciate one another. Don’t look back and have regrets. Don’t say to yourself one day that you wish you could turn back time and have a do over.
