She’s a writer and I’m sorry
I went to a poetry meeting and I heard a writing teacher from a local college tell the following story. Please excuse as I paraphrase:
I knew from the day she walked in, that this woman was going to be a writer. I could see the spark in her eyes and I knew she wanted nothing more than to write. She wrote poetry, and would stay up day and night looking for just the right words to describe her feelings. She wouldn’t stop until everything was perfect, and assignments were handed in late because she had to fight to look for the word that sounded just right. I knew then that she was never going to be anything other than a writer. This young woman said that I had become her all-time favorite teacher. And of course, the parents were eager to be introduced to the woman who had such a huge impact on their child’s life and education.
I looked at them square in the eye and I said, “she’s a writer and I’m sorry.” They looked at me in a way that said they were very puzzled, and I said, “your daughter’s a writer and she’ll never be anything else, she’ll never have the passion that she has for writing. Becoming a writer is not an easy thing to do, but she has the passion to be a writer, and a good one at that.”
I will be receiving my bachelor’s degree in writing in May, and as my education comes to a close, I can’t help but think of those words: “she’s a writer and I’m sorry.” This teacher, who made the statement, has become one of my very favorite teachers as well; she’s the reason that I made the life change I did and decided to go to school for something I actually cared about, instead of making money and being relentlessly depressed.
I found a creative way to voice my opinion, and sometimes to write about things that make people happy or comfortable, but that’s OK because I’m a writer and that’s my job. I can’t help but think of the fact that she’s right: it’s going to be difficult to find a job. It’s going to be difficult to pay my bills. But in addition to my creativity, I’m very resourceful and I know that I can make it work. I have the soul of a soldier and I will do this just like everything else I have ever tried to do. Writing for me is a comfort, it’s a place to blow off steam.
It’s a place to write my fears.
It’s a place to be happy.
My journal is a place to pray.
Furthermore, writers are some of the most passionate people on the planet. We find something we love and we run with it. Yes, I’ve been told I’m weird, and that I’ll never find anyone who will understand me or appreciate me. That’s not true. I’m an artist and other people will love me, even if they don’t love what I have to say. I have found a wonderful group of colleagues, who treat me as if I am one of their own. I love them very much.
Sometimes I swear at my computer. I will often crumple up paper and toss it across the room in anger. I close my door so I will not be disturbed, for my creative process is one that takes time.
But I have passion. I found something worth waking up for in the morning. There is absolutely no need to say …
“She’s a writer and I’m sorry.”
