Silent No More
*Trigger Warning: Childhood Sexual Abuse Recovery*
The facets of memory are comparable to a long and winding dirt road,
each and every crevice filled to the brim with memories of life times long ago.
A young child forcibly thrust into survival mode;
Unforgettable pain passing like scenes in a film that wouldn’t stop as she wept, echoes of a young soul crying out the word, “No!”
The fear instilled in a naive, impressionable mind,
The manipulation of a charismatic monster, and the identity of a child stolen.
A ten year old who’s now grown at twenty seven
seizes the chance to tell her story and to let go of the fear;
choosing to use her voice and to reclaim the true sense of self she once held so dear.
I am silent no more.
To utter a word came the threat of loss;
speaking the truth now with an empty cost.
My identity found as a survivor, never again to play the victim.
I am silent no more.
The child who was pinned down helplessly onto the floor,
She will hold onto these memories with anger no more.
The choice made to take the high road,
The Lord has helped me escape from the chains of survival mode.
The fear always lurked around in the depths of my soul,
I never wanted you to have the chance to hurt me again.
A monster who inflicted me with immeasurable emotional pain.
I am silent no more.
Anxiety driven so deep within me,
its effects at times still ravage my soul.
Your words and actions a venomous poison to create misery was your one and only goal.
Today, I emerge as a survivor and I write these words with ease,
I live my life happily and do as I please.
I am a woman free to express my thoughts and opinions,
A woman with a voice and a chance to be heard
away from the shackles that encompassed my childhood.
I am so thankful that the Lord has loved and protected me so faithfully.
A peaceful melody in my days has been discovered,
the song of a fearless bluebird.
With this poem, I will end by saying I will pray for you.
I have never understood why there are people in this world that are like you.
I just wanted a chance to write this out and let the past go.
I wanted to let other sexual abuse survivors know,
Give it to the Lord, but also find your courage to stand up for yourself.
Don’t be afraid to say
I am silent no more.
