Teachable Moments
I think some people have a very strange sense of what a teacher’s job entails. Maybe not strange, but definitely a little warped. The reactions I’ve had when people learn of my job range from “I could never do that” to “What a wonderful opportunity to reach children!”
The last statement is the one that makes me cringe a little. I’m not sure what picture people have in their heads of what teachers actually do. Maybe they think it is all crafts, field trips, and beautiful summer days. Maybe they picture the playgrounds littered with unicorns and rainbows. The reality is that rainbows fade and unicorns fart.
A day in the life of a teacher is as unique as the teacher herself. I teach English and Literature for 5th through 12th grades. I also teach Spanish to the 10th through 12th grades, and penmanship to the first and second graders in our school. That all adds up to a very busy schedule.
Children do not sit still. Children are not quiet. So if you have a picture in your head of an orderly classroom with students sitting properly at their desks with intelligent looks on their faces, then you best step away from the Elmer’s glue.
Teachers like to plan ahead. We don’t usually go into a classroom without any sense of knowing what we’ll be covering that day. Some days there is more to do than others. Inevitably, it is on the busiest days when the students seem most determined to derail the best-laid lesson plans.
While teaching the first and second graders recently, I had the following experience.
Teacher: “Now, Sean, you need to fix that letter a so it looks like an a. Make sure it is sitting on the line, not floating over it.”
Sean: “What’s that?”
Teacher: (looks down) “It’s a belt.”
Sean: “Why are you wearing it?”
Teacher: (flabberghasted) “For the same reason you aren’t wearing one.”
Sean: “Oh.”
Teacher: “Look at those n’s. You can’t have their feet sinking through the floor. Make sure you don’t write beneath the line.”
Sean: (looks up impishly) “Why are you wearing earrings?”
Teacher: “Because they are pretty.”
Sean: “No, they’re not.”
Teacher: (flummoxed) “Well, I think they are pretty.”
Sean: “Don’t they hurt?”
Teacher (relieved for a sensible question) “No, not at all! Right, April?”
(Reader’s note: April was a first-grader who had her ears pierced when she was a baby. The teacher thought that she would have an ally. The teacher thought wrong.)
April: “They hurt me all the time!”
The discussion about earrings was repeated for several days. I finally stopped wearing my more noticeable earrings. The subject was dropped, and I patted myself on the back for averting a detour to the penmanship program. But I underestimated my students. Their imagination and creativity for developing rabbit trails is truly genius.
Just as the class got into a good routine, another student opened up the random thought process by offering her opinion:
“I don’t like your eyes.”
Sigh.
This randomness is not limited to the younger students. While teaching the fifth graders possessive nouns, one student threw her hand up enthusiastically. I thought perhaps she had an insightful question that would miraculously spark interest in the rest of the students. The teacher, once again, thought wrong.
“Did you know you have two different colors eyes?”
I don’t understand why my eighth graders would suffer from the same ailment as the younger students. What could possibly be more riveting than diagramming a complex-compound sentence, or reviewing spelling rules? I soon found out. As I was teaching I saw that one of the eighth graders had their foot on the table.
“Put your foot down, please,” I instructed. I wondered briefly why I would have to say that to an eighth-grader.
“I can’t. My pencil is stuck in my sock.”
Sigh.
These are the types of shenanigans that happen during a class. Sometimes they are amusing, sometimes they are more serious. But teaching is much more than presenting the facts of history or grammar rules. Teaching is about reaching out to individuals who have their own creative thinking process. And while we want to nurture that quality, we also have to teach. The job is not glamorous. It is hard work, every single day. The struggle is real, but rewarding.
Not only does a teacher need to know how to juggle all the nonsense and the lesson plans, but she has to have a unique sense of humor. So, to all my students who make me smile or laugh, I say, thank you. And: get your homework done on time.
