The Frustration Of Finding Out Your Aide Quit

Some of you may or may not know, but due to my condition, I rely on health aides. I cannot shower by myself. I depend on them to come out every day to help.

Now, tell me. How would you feel if your health care agency you were with for most of your life was screwing you over? Would you feel mistreated, discouraged, and disappointed? Yeah, that is how I felt the other day.

My parents and I found out my health aide quit. She was with me for a few months. But her leaving is not the worse part. The agency I have been with for most of my life decided not to notify me, but my mother. My mother is not the agency. She should not have to take time off work to tell me the bad news, or any other messages, from them. It seems they were too lazy to pick up the phone and call me, the patent who needs the care. Their actions are unacceptable and pure laziness!

I logged on to Facebook that day and got a private message from my mom that said, “Good morning. Call me, please.”

My first thought was, oh god, now what?

I picked up the phone and called her. When she got on the phone, she gave me her usual cheerful greeting of, “Hi, how are you?

I told her I was fine and asked if everything was ok. Her reply, “Everything’s fine, but I have some bad news.”

What she said next shocked me.

“Your aide quit.”

I froze and felt numb at the news. I didn’t even know what to say. I wanted to say something, but the words wouldn’t come out. So, I let out the frustration and cried.

Why did I let it out by crying? Well, this is not the first time this has happened. I lost another health aide seven years ago. I was close to her. Now, I must go through another transition with a new aide. When this happens, it is hard for me. I get attached to them. They are not my aide anymore, but family. When I lost this aide over something foolish, I didn’t lose an aide; I lost a member of my family. I will say this; I don’t wish these sad feelings or frustrations on anyone.

Ever since the incident happened with the agency, I reflected on past events. What I found is, they are mistreating me, their patient. There is zero communication between the agency, myself, my parents, and my guardian. They use my mom as the go-to person, and not my dad, which they’re supposed too. It has me wondering Why the hell did I even give them his number if they will not bother calling him.

The whole agency has gone down in the garbage. Everyone there is clueless. They do not know what the hell they are doing. It’s disorganized, and again there’s no communication. They say they care about their patients and about making them happy. I hate to say this, but with the issues and disrespect I have experienced, that is a boldface lie.

My mom asked if I would cry on the phone if I got to tell them how I felt about how they treat me. My response was, “Hell no! I would not cry in front of them; even it was the last thing I ever did.” I know they would don’t give one crap about how I am feeling, how upset and frustrated I am. I only cry in front of people who truly care.

Sadly, everyone, this is now a reality for them and me. It is also the reason I haven’t advocated for myself and said anything. I now understand my feelings. I know now, they don’t care or give a crap. So, I ask you, what is the point of telling them, and advocating, when I know, deep down in my heart, they won’t consider my feelings?

The truth: They don’t care about the patients and making them happy anymore.

Ever since the old group left and because of the issue that happened, I now feel like I’m a number and not a patient (yes, you heard me.). The treatment and the disrespectful vibe I now get from them is all because of a dumb little mistake. When the old group was there, I NEVER EVER used to get treated like this. There was always a ton of communication and check-ins to make sure I was happy and cared for. Now, it’s disrespect, feeling mistreated, and a number to them.

Oh, and did I tell you, about the other day, when my regular aide didn’t show up for her shift? The agency decided not to send someone out so I could shower. Due to that, I missed it. My mom helped me so that I could take one. When this happens, I worry, what if no one comes and I can’t shower? What if my parents aren’t around and I need to shower? Showering is what the health aide comes for because I can’t do it myself.

Depending on health aides for showering is what I do to get through. When things happen that affects it, I get frustrated and upset. Me feeling like a number and mistreated as the patient who needs the care is not a good feeling. I get frustrated. I wish I could bathe by myself and cut the care services off. I can’t do that because the state pays for those services.

In the next few months, some things will change with my care. We will give one more health aide from this agency a try. If she doesn’t work, then due to how they treated me, and how my mental health and anxiety is handling it all, after 19 years, I will leave.

To be honest, I don’t feel too good about what might happen in the next few months. I must keep telling myself that if it goes too far, it’ll be good for me and my mental health to leave. Every time I get let down like this, my body and emotions get out of whack. It’s not a good thing for me.

Do what’s best for you for a healthier life. Let go of the things that have been stressing you out for months, no matter how hard, or painful, it might be. This is the lesson I will learn in the months ahead.

Photo By: 
Soragrit Wongsa on unsplash