The Frustrations Of Being An Over-Thinker
Anyone that knows me well knows I have flaws.There’s a whole list of them, and I could go on and on forever, but I won’t. One of the biggest flaws I hate having and the one that is the most frustrating is that I am an over-thinker. Yes, I said it. I am an over-thinker.
It is annoying to live with this flaw every single day. When you are an over-thinker, you tend to over-think the stupidest and littlest things. Whether it’s news that a doctor gives you, good or bad, when you go to a doctor appointment or it’s writing-related. Any little tinny situation can also trigger you to over-think and make it harder than it’s supposed to be.
The thing that annoys and aggravates me is whenever a situation comes up, even if it’s small and the easiest to fix, I over-think it. And as soon as it’s over I’m good and stress-free. When these situations happen, after they are over, everyone involved looks at me. They compare me to how I was when the problem was happening, and they go, “Oh, I see a totally different Juliana.” I sit there shaking my head and think, “Why don’t people understand.” And my response is always, “I can’t help it.” And people still don’t get it, even after you’ve told them you can’t help it.
One of the biggest things that can trigger my over-thinking is doctors’ appointments. I swear, no matter what appointment it’s for: my teeth, my legs or my eyes, I stress over it. The over-thinker part of me always takes the news one of those three doctors gives me the wrong way. I always stress about it till I end up crying and even getting anxiety about it.
Once we find a solution to the good or bad news from the doctor and I see everything is getting better, the over-thinking, stress, and anxiety are gone. And yeah, that annoys me.
I bet you’re right now thinking, “Well, has she ever experienced over-thinking at the doctor’s office. She says she does but I can’t be sure if she’s lying or not.” The answer is yes, I’m not lying. And I’ll tell you two quick stories to prove it.
About a week ago, I had my yearly checkup with my regular doctor. She did the normal pre-exam things that any doctor always does. She asked questions about my health. She asked if I was feeling sick or had a change in my appetite. All of which I said no, and I was fine. Then, it was time for my body exam. The doctor sent my dad out of the room because she figured at the age I would be ok with being alone with her, no big deal. The exam went well until she checked my teeth and gums.
“Sweetie, you have yellow discoloration showing on your teeth. Your showing signs of gum inflammation,” She said.
She was telling me I was getting early signs of gingivitis on my teeth.
Here comes the over-thinker in me. As soon as she told me, I got very overwhelmed. I felt myself getting ready to cry, but I bit my tongue and held it in, so the doctor wouldn’t have to see me crying. My brain went right to think the worst thing, “OMG I will have to go on medications or have a special treatment done because it’s that bad.” Well, it wasn’t bad, it was at the beginning stages, so it’s an easy fix.
However, when I got to the car, the news sank in and hit me. I got upset and cried, even though the news I received wasn’t that bad, the thought still scared me.
Last year, I went to the dentist for my usually 3-month period cleaning. My dentist did a huge x-ray of my teeth (it was the one where all your teeth show including your wisdom teeth.) It was the first time she did that type of x-ray on me (I usually have the small one done where my top and bottom teeth show, and my wisdom teeth are left out.)
She took the picture and went back to the regular room to review it. I walked back to the room to hear the results. I stood in the doorway waiting for her to say something. She looked at me, “I’m concerned about one of your wisdom teeth. It’s growing in sideways. I will send this image over to the surgeon and see what he thinks.”
Again, as soon as my overthinking brain heard the word “surgeon” I thought the worst thing, “I will have to get my wisdom teeth pulled.”
Luckily, the surgeon didn’t call us. I guess he thought it was not that big of a deal for an appointment.
The news, as I said, scared me. The thought I might have to get my wisdom teeth pulled scared me more.
We all have our flaws. We are all not perfect. We don’t live in a world where everyone is perfect. I have my flaws and being an over-thinker is one of many. It’s ok to have flaws. If you are yourself and the person everyone knows and love, that’s all that really matters to them. No one will care about your flaws. They’ll only accept you for who you really are and who you’ve come to be. And if it’s the other way around, well that’s that person’s loss and not yours. You keep being you and hold that head up high!
