When the Story You’ve Been Writing Gives You Nightmares
My current ongoing story for Coffee House is one that deals with a lot of serious themes. Child molestation, false accusations, and being suicidal. I write bi-weekly, so I was getting breaks from writing it, but a few nights ago I had a terrifying nightmare. One that I’m sure stemmed from my story. I woke up and I could barely breathe. That’s when I knew I needed a break.
Now the whole reason I started writing this story is that my therapist thought it would be good for me. Some of the themes (not the exact events) happened to me as a child. I’ve heard it said that “The whole point of writing is to turn blood to ink.” That’s all well and good but when one starts to lose themselves in a sea of nightmares, horrific childhood memories, and thoughts of suicide, you know you need to step away for a bit.
The nightmare brought back a lot of childhood memories and with it the urge to cut or worse. I didn’t realize that just by dissociating a situation and making it completely different to write about could still trigger me. Ironically it was my therapist idea to dissociate and write about the event in a completely new and different way. She thought it would help me to stop the obsessive thoughts. I guess with these themes it was just too much for me handle.
I’m sure once I get a handle on this in therapy I will go back to my story. but for now, I need a break from the gruesome details of the horrid themes I was writing about.
I urge all of you writers out there to take care of yourselves first. Your stories will be there when you get back. I hope my readers will understand.
