Some days everything just gets to you. It’s not so much that day, maybe, it could be we’re just more vulnerable on certain days to everything going on everyday.
Maybe it’s the first story I saw today, about taxi drivers in Japan picking up ghosts in their cabs in the area where the 2011 Tsunami killed 16,000 people.
One of them asked the driver if they were dead, and when the driver turned around, they were gone.
Then there was the thirteen year old girl murdered by two Virginia Tech students, just for the hell of it.
Then there was the heartrendingly beautiful story of the mother whose baby boy died, and his heart was transplanted into a girl who desperately needed it, and the little girl is healthy and strong now. The mother of the boy met with the girl and her mother, and broke down, listening to her son’s heart beating in the shy little girl’s body.
Maybe it’s my grown beautiful son getting married in two weeks, and I can still feel his weight against my chest when I patted him to sleep as a baby.
It’s so bittersweet it hurts and overwhelms you with the ongoing, miraculous movement of time and change, of gifts and hearts being joined and lifting up, loving and breaking all at the same time. Breaking with happiness.
“The world is too much with us,” the poet said.
Life can be as painful as it is blissful. That is the dichotomy of life, the unbearable path we all have to walk, some with a greater measure of pain for pleasure than others, inexplicably.
We are all pushed to the breaking point at times in our lives, and we all, at some point in our lives have the chance to be reborn.
We have to be broken to find out who we truly are, to stand outside this little cocoon we exist in. We break for the world, for others, for the suffering of all living things. We live ecstatically and suffer and break ecstatically, and then we’re given the grace to find ourselves again.
I’ve been broken a number of times, and then there is wisdom on the other side. There is another life and greater life in it. And still I am waking some mornings to so much pain, so much loss, injustice, hate and fear in the world, and we all, collectively, take that pain on and deal with it to find the bliss that can also exist in such abundance.
He restoreth my soul. That is a promise fulfilled for me over and over. For every broken heart day, there are rebirth and triumph days.
There are saints in our midst and angels all around us. Holding us up when our hearts break and the world is too much with us.
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