Sugar-coated Feedback Sometimes Isn’t Enough

Not all criticism is meant to be constructive, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be.

Not all feedback is going to be sugar coated and easy to swallow.

Sometimes it’s going to be a punch in the face, a swat to the ego, an earnestly hard blow to your psyche.

Sometimes it takes someone not being afraid to tell you you’re wrong, and to beat you over the head with it relentlessly until it sinks in for you to change.

It doesn’t mean they are trying to hurt you, but it will probably feel like they are.

One of the people that I respect most in this world was someone I hated more than anyone for a two week period of my life.

When I moved down to Florida I was like a lost puppy that didn’t really have an understanding of who I was or what I was capable of.

“Can’t” was one of the most used words in my dictionary, and honestly it’s a word I loath now.

Every time I hear it my stomach turns.

“Sean, go cut 40 of those sheets of ply to these measurements, I need them done in 30 minutes so we can get moving on this roof.”

“I’m not good with the saw though, I’ll mess that up, I can’t do that in that time.”

“You what?”

“I can’t do it, I’ll mess it up.”

“You will do it, go, now. Don’t say ‘can’t’”

Sure, I went over and I reamed through 40 sheets and most of them were horrible, but I sure learned the consequences of messing up around $800 of plywood, and I learned that if he had the faith in me to do what I think I can’t, I should have the faith in myself to try and do my best.

Over the next two weeks I was roofing a mansion on Siesta Key in 97º heat, and it was unbearable.

Every time I said I couldn’t do something I heard about it for the next hour, hammering me for having no faith in myself, telling me no one would have faith in me if I didn’t have faith in myself.

Over that two weeks the word “can’t” was erased from my vocabulary. I can do anything that I set myself to.

More importantly, I learned that all feedback isn’t handed to you on a silver platter. Sometimes the best medicine is the most bitter, and you want to spit it out.

Being able to understand the lessons in hardship helps you make the most of absolutely any situation. And like knowing how to cook, you start tasting the missing ingredients of life.

Things start to stand out to you more.

Instead of complaining about the heat, you appreciate the breeze. Instead of worrying about the end you start appreciating the journey.

Have faith in yourself and your ability to change things, and to do things well. Understand that you can find the answer to any problem you have if you have the goal to do so. Above all understand that feedback comes in many forms, and being blind due to ego, fear, or pride will only keep you still instead of moving forward.

It’s not that I can’t accept not moving forward, it’s that I won’t.

You shouldn’t either.