Want to be an ally? Lose the armor, leverage your privilege, and listen up.
Heroes don’t wear capes.
Edna Mode does not mess around. Everything she says is gold. Who doesn’t love the know-it-all fashionable aunt and her comic relief? But, just because she manages to be both formidable and funny, is everything she says “perfection, darling?”
Warning: I have dissected this movie a lot. I can’t help myself, especially as an art educator, design thinker, and content creator. There are good messages and several strong women, including Edna. Different bodies and not a lot of gun violence. Parents who try.
As a parent, I have sucked the joy out of most movies for my kids (Yay mom!). And yet, it’s one of the few areas I feel confident in the parent department: teaching 21st-century life skills through art. How to interrogate characters who seem too good to be true. Pointing out that nobody’s superhuman or pure evil. To always question digital content. To point out sexism, racism, and stereotypes in any media every time.
Hey Kid #1, why is the family white and only a few minor characters are Black or Asian? Kid #2, did you notice, Mr. Incredible is the star while Lucius, AKA Frozone, who is Black is the sidekick?”
As a parent, I have sucked the joy out of most movies for my kids (Yay mom!). And yet, it’s one of the few areas I feel confident in the parent department: teaching 21st-century life skills through art.
As much as my kids lament that I never let them “just watch” they are excellent media critics now too.
So, is dry Edna saying “Luck favors the prepared” fine? When I looked a bit closer, yes. But not entirely. (And no this isn’t neo-liberal crap). This meme of motivation does border on toxic positivity. Why?
Well first, who gets to be prepared? Someone who had a good mentor or guardian like Edna looking out for them, making sure they had the right armor to make it out in the jungle.
Second, who gets to be “lucky” and win/earn/succeed? Someone who had the means and connections. Someone who had a partner and basic needs covered. Home, car, food, clothing, and money for a babysitter are not really a concern even when you lose your day job — that is not good luck.
Third, was your success due to luck, being prepared, hard work, and raw talent? Were you simply “in the right place at the right time?” Nope.
Oprah says “luck is preparation meeting opportunity.” Without being prepared, you’d be SOL if and when the opportunity arrived. For Oprah preparation was a survival skill; she had to be ready.
Being prepared is actually a privilege many take for granted. It means you have the bandwidth, finances, connections, family, or education to be prepared. That is how you get “lucky.” Maybe what most of us consider “luck” is actually privilege mixed with chutzpah. You can take risks and be brave; someone will catch you if you fail.
In The Incredibles montage narrated by Edna, one villain's cape gets stuck in the engine. Then his cape unravels completely before he, too, is sucked into oblivion. That cape is your privilege, and the longer you keep it the more dangerous it becomes. You think you are special, and sure, we ALL are. But that cape didn’t make you a superhero. The cape means you’re the villain.
Systemic racism, sexism, and misogyny gave you the ability to be prepared while others had no coverage. You got to be the one that solved all the problems, got the jobs, closed the deal, made it into the press, got the mic, and all the wins. It makes sense why you thought you were a superhero.
That cape was always dangerous even if it made you feel invincible. People further on their anti-racist, decolonization “journey” tried to warn you. Your sidekicks tried to warn you, as did countless women. You didn’t listen until the 11th hour. You nearly got sucked into pure capitalist, white supremacy evil, shredded to bits.
If your armor was indestructible (in 4 types of climate like Jack Jack’s suit) this origin story will be rough. If you haven’t crumbled learning about racism and its benefactors (you), you haven’t even made it to the beginning, yet.
Without a mask or cape — you see it everywhere. A warning that when you start to pull the thread and unpack your privilege, your vision changes. Oblivious the hand that you were dealt was fixed, you’ll begin to see discrepancies and inequities every day, all day. When you learn our history, things you took for granted vanish as if a mirage. The bootstrap myth unravels. “Just ask and you shall receive” sounds rude, and completely false. Your own hero’s journey comes undone. What luck? (White supremacy really is a fool’s paradise.)
The bootstrap myth unravels. “Just ask and you shall receive” sounds rude, and completely false. Your own hero’s journey comes undone.
If you are white, have access to money, or power, you have to do the work. Like a poorly made “Alexander Galbaki” cape, unravel that privilege every day.
Heroes don’t wear capes. (Just look at moms or essential workers this past year — no capes!)
Real superheroes help, not by “saving” others, but by helping others be prepared. (No white saviors!) This way, luck will shine on them.
Take off the cape and get humble. Recognize you didn’t just work harder or have magic powers. You had a costume, armor, or support from others who had the right tools to dress you up.
Instead, in your plainclothes, teach others what you know. Share knowledge and resources. Hire people. Pay them well so when it’s their turn to fight or to shine, they will be prepared. Teach them to brace for impact or give parachutes if need be. Make a new super suit for someone else so they can go save the world.
That is my mission: to help as many of you shine and give you whatever you need to be prepared to do your own thing. I am here to make sure you’re suited up and ready for the fight. Starting your own business is not easy, especially when you’re also trying to help others. You can’t save the world alone. Everyone deserves Edna-level expertise. I got your back, even when you can’t afford it.
Anyone who is marginalized needs backup, and the more intersectional your identity, the more likely it is you are living with little to none. The more vulnerable and prepared the hero, the more innovative their solution. They should have the best protection possible (like Edna gives Violet and Dash) and a force field. But white women also need speed. We have lost centuries and we need to get with it quick.
Anyone who is marginalized needs backup. The more vulnerable the hero, the more innovative their solution.
Collectivism will be our coverage. We will shout our battle cry together to take down white supremacy and patriarchy! With actual support, you can fight and win! Together.
Listen to the tiny retired fashion designer with glasses and no time for B.S….Edna Mode. “NO CAPES!”
Do the work. Go be incredible.
Emily Weltman is a writer, social entrepreneur, and intersectional feminist Leading with Purpose. She is a co-founder of Rage 2 Rainbows, a movement to combat cyberbullies, and the founder of Collective Flow Consulting, a womxn-owned small business community. coFLOWco’s mission-driven consultants are building the “Future of Work”, one business at a time.
