Who the F*ck is Fine?
A Neurodivergent Mind and the Challenges with “How are you?”
1. I have never been “fine”…Not once.
I have been stoked and giddy. Repulsed and disgusted. Ansty, raring to go. Dragging and bone-tired. Maybe, I have been “okay” — maybe.
I used to think everyone who said they were “fine” was lying — or when I asked “What are you thinking about?” and they said “Nothing” that they must be hiding something.
Apparently, this is not the case. Who knew?
My older kid tried to explain it to me once. I asked “What’s up?” (This often starts us off on the wrong foot, I have learned; it is not an innocuous question). The response is usually— they weren’t thinking about anything.
One time I got “nothing,” to which I replied “Impossible!” So, they attempted to explain to me that sometimes, they just had, “Ya know, blank feeling.”
What?! What the hell is that? I most certainly did not know.
I looked at my youngest who thinks and processes the world more like I do. “Wait, have you ever had blank feeling, like even once in your (short) life?” Then we sort of giggled, sharing the look of those whose brains never turn off except when asleep…maybe.
