Why Are We Fools in Love?
Friday nights are my time to grocery shop for the upcoming week. If it’s been a tough week or I’m feeling particularly homesick, I’ll grab one of the pizzas my family used to enjoy when I was a child. It’s often not a conscious decision, but it does give me a positive feeling of connection with my distant loved ones. Recently, however, my shopping trips have been hijacked by my left ventral tegmental area (VTA). And it has nothing to do with pizza.
A user on TikTok prompted people to answer, “What’s the craziest thing you’ve done when you’ve had a crush on someone?” My grocery store outings provide an extra rush of dopamine when I see the cute guy who works there. Dopamine is released in the left VTA when we see someone attractive; in contrast, when we are in the throes of love it is released in the right VTA [1].
Dopamine plays a role in gambling and addiction. In gambling with slot machines, there is an average amount of time that passes or an average number of tries in order to win big [2]. Intermittent reward is a powerful force exploited by gambling casinos. Because people don’t know when they will be rewarded, they want to stick with it until they receive a reward. When they receive the reward, dopamine is released. This dopamine hit is why having a crush or being in love can feel addictive.
Scientists at Rutgers have identified different categories of love: lust, attraction, and attachment [3]. Each type is linked to different neurotransmitters or hormones, but attraction focuses on dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin [3]. Dopamine plays a large role in our reward system while norepinephrine is more closely connected with our urge for fight or flight.
Norepinephrine triggers our stress response to switch on when we see someone we like. The sympathetic nervous system also activates, which can lead to things like increased heart rate, hands shaking, sweating, or flushed cheeks. Higher levels of norepinephrine “generally produces alertness energy sleeplessness and loss of appetite, increased attention, and increased memory” [4]. This can lead to insomnia and sleep procrastination which can in turn affect attention and work quality throughout the day.
Lower levels of serotonin are associated with obsessive compulsive disorder; people also experience lower levels of serotonin in attraction [3]. Serotonin helps us to stabilize our mood and feel in control, which is why selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors are prescribed for depression, anxiety, and obsessive compulsive disorder [5]. When we don’t have enough serotonin to balance out the effects of dopamine, we may feel obsessed and have intrusive thoughts about the person we have a crush on [5].
Decision making can also be adversely affected. In attraction, the amygdala is essentially turned off and “the brain dampens the ability of our mid- and frontal cortex to use logic, criticize or think clearly” [6]. The amygdala is responsible for processing emotions, specifically fear. This may cause us to overlook certain red flags or act irrationally. Or we can conveniently remember we need something else at the grocery store, simply to catch another glimpse of our crush.
With the highs that come with feeling attraction also comes fear and loss aversion. Loss aversion is when someone thinks the pain of losing something will be stronger than any potential gain [7]. One may not want to talk to the person they’re attracted to for fear they will be rejected. Then there’s the fear of getting to know someone only to have turn out not to be what the mind has built them up to be. The dating app Hinge conducted surveys and found “Over half of Gen Z Hinge daters (56%) said they believe worrying about rejection has caused them to miss a chance with someone” [8].
I still need to buy my weekly groceries, and pizza will always be a favorite snack. But knowing those butterflies in my stomach and brain are there because of neurotransmitters, maybe next time I go I’ll find the courage to check out in his line.
References
[1] Mull, Amanda. “Hot People Are Stressful.” The Atlantic, Atlantic Media Company, 10 Apr. 2019, www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/04/how-attractive-people-affect-your-brain/586870/.
[2] Boyle, Mary ET. “Inner Zombie.” COGS 2, 23 January 2024, University of California, San Diego, La Jolla. Lecture.
[3] Wu, Katherine. “Love, Actually: The Science behind Lust, Attraction, and Companionship.” Science in the News, 19 June 2020, sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/.
[4] Seshadri, Krishna G. “The neuroendocrinology of love.” Indian journal of endocrinology and metabolism vol. 20,4 (2016): 558–63. doi:10.4103/2230–8210.183479
[5] Fabello, Melissa A. “The Neurobiology behind All of the Ridiculous Things You Do When You’re in Love.” Everyday Feminism, 19 Jan. 2013, everydayfeminism.com/2012/12/the-neurobiology-behind-all-of-the-ridiculous-things-you-do-when-youre-in-love/.
[6] LaMotte, Sandee. “Are You in Love or Just High on Chemicals in Your Brain? Answer: YES.” CNN, Cable News Network, 14 Feb. 2020, www.cnn.com/2020/02/14/health/brain-on-love-wellness/index.html.
[7] Boyle, Mary ET. “Loss Aversion.” COGS 2, 30 January 2024, University of California, San Diego, La Jolla. Lecture.
[8] Gallion, Bailey. “Dating App Study Says Gen Z Is More Idealistic When It Comes to Love than Millennials.” The Columbus Dispatch, The Columbus Dispatch, 14 Feb. 2024, www.dispatch.com/story/news/nation-world/2024/02/14/gen-z-more-romantic-and-idealistic-than-millennials-study-friends/72583930007/#:~:text=Over%20half%20of%20Gen%20Z,outside%20the%20realm%20of%20dating.
