Ivor Andrew’s 2017 Work Resolutions

Because perfection can always improve.

2017! It’s here, and its motto is “This may suck, but at least it doesn’t 2016 suck.”

It’s customary to announce New Year’s resolutions on January 1, but this is ineffective and leads to burnout. What you’re supposed to do is deliberate, procrastinate, and finally announce your resolutions on January 17th.

So that’s what we did. Enjoy.

STEPH

1. I’d really like to stop saying “touch base” so much. But I also know that might be impossible.
2. Say “Heyyyy” (all awkward) less when I’m asking someone if they have a minute.

Stu: Yes, please fix those first two.

3. Stop bugging Doug so much. Even though he says it’s OK. Pretty sure he’s lying. Are you lying, Doug?

Doug: No comment.

4. Learn how to clean the coffee maker.

5. Learn how to actually enjoy the taste of coffee.

Luke: I wrote about this! Here’s the guide.

The Only Two Ways To Drink Coffee

6. Don’t make more than one trip to the peanut butter pretzel jar per day. Keep those things away from me.

Keith: About 25% of my daily caloric intake comes from the PB pretzels. I should add this to my list.

7. On a serious note, I want to make sure our clients are always happy and that we are producing work that makes us proud and them ecstatic.

DOUG

1. Be better/more consistent at filling out my timesheets and clerical work.
2. Find better Pandora stations that don’t repeat every 4 hours with fewer “21 Piløts” and “Lumineers” songs.

Steph: Might I suggest a Spice Girls station? We could all use a little spice every once and a while. AMIRITE?! Does everyone hate me now?

Luke: I’d be down for a Spice Girls station on Fridays at 5:05 p.m.

Doug: Steph, I don’t even know who you are.

Steph: Neither do I. Someone please help me.

3. Figure out why the tires in company’s Honda Fit don’t hold air.

4. Build a better audio infrastructure for the video team.

5. Add to my Boba Fett collection.

Keith: We might need to get you a bigger office.

6. Continue to build an exemplary creative team with talented, bright, motivated individuals who want to be a part of something bigger and greater.

7. Do awesome stuff.

ALEX

1. Be an artist.
2. Get our inside worlds to the outside world.
3. Channel Muhammad Ali and Picasso.
4. Be Prometheus except replace fire with beauty/art.
5. Make something so good that it makes people super uncomfortable and they hate it at first, but then eventually they realize it’s genius. ;-)

Susan: Alex, you should go art shopping with me and Keith sometime. He has this mummy sketch that he was SO proud of when he bought it and all I saw was an emaciated person. It’s still sitting in our basement back room — facing the wall. On the other side, I bought a rug once and Keith’s only comment was, “it’s very disturbing.” How can a hallway runner be disturbing? I don’t know. But I’m guessing you would thoroughly enjoy watching us try to agree on pieces!

Steph: I agree with Susan on that sketch. I saw it. Got scared.

6. Learn how to talk better and be less passive in conversation.

7. Be unreasonable because the crazy unreasonable people do the greatest things.

8. Be less normal.

9. Be patient and diligent.

10. Make history.

11. I started a blog where I will be documenting my process of learning how to design clothes. Because I’m not sure where to begin, I’ll be visualizing my ideas with illustrations and we’ll go from there. I plan on posting weekly in 2017. You can follow it here:

Clothing Design Journal

12. I also have a goal to make at least one photography book every year of my life. I made 3 in 2016, so I’m off to a good start. :-) You can look at them here:

Books

13. Watch every one of Woody Allen’s 47 (?) movies. I think I only have 7 left.

Luke: What are your top 5 Woody Allen movies?

Alex: How about top 8?

1. Hannah and Her Sisters
2. Annie Hall
3. Broadway Danny Rose
4. Stardust Memories
5. Blue Jasmine
6. Midnight in Paris
7. Cafe Society
8. Vicky Cristina Barcelona

SUSAN

1. Learn to like Keith’s car. Or at least tolerate it.
2. Take one thing at a time. It all doesn’t need to be solved at once.
3. Be a little less serious, a little more fun.

STU

1. Simplify simplify simplify.

Luke: I like how you wrote SIMPLIFY and then added 7 more resolutions.

2. Get a door.

3. Figure out how to answer professional emails.

4. Paint a watercolor to hang above our desk.

5. Get a rearview mirror for the computer.

6. Push our video work into the unknown and uncomfortable.

7. Film the most beautiful damn machining video that ever is, was, or ever shall be.

Keith: Oooh…another one I want to steal for my list.

8. Collaborate more with everyone in the office on projects outside our wheelhouse.

LUKE

1. Steal Keith’s car.
2. No other resolutions.

Steph: ATTN: EVERYONE—Luke is perfect. Please proceed with your day.

KEN

1. Cultivate a taste for music not written in the 60s.

Luke: I have a sick nursery rhyme playlist. Lemme know if you want in on that.

2. Write social media as well as Luke.

3. Drink more water.

Steph: Same here. I think you and I are the only people in the office with a love for La Croix.

Luke: HOLY BALLS how terrible is La Croix? Blech. Just drink water, folks.

Steph: Can someone please back me up here?

Susan: Big fan of La Croix! Team Steph!!

Doug: La Croix says, “I won’t drink water because kidney stones really intrigue me.”

Liz: I used to hate La Croix, but I am now a believer. Team Steph as well!

Steph: Yay, I have a team and Luke has nothing but a poor attitude towards La Croix. #winning

Luke: I’d like to thank this thread for inspiring the most important thing I have ever written:

DEAR PEOPLE WHO DRINK LA CROIX

LIZ

1. Keep my desk more clean. Post its and papers and piles, oh my! I always feel more organized and on top of things with a clean desk.

SHANNON

1. Be more confident and take some chances.
2. Take each new task one step at a time, instead of trying to master everything at once.
3. Use my spare time to either start a gym membership or become more active in general, instead of binge watching Netflix.
4. Work on my overuse of the words “like” and “um”.
5. Do my best in finding ways where I can help everyone out in the office to lighten workloads and make things more efficient.
6. Expand my office beer runs to all 50 states.

Steph: This makes me happy. Just make sure you buy it warm so it doesn’t skunk by time you bring it back to the office!

Liz: Unless you are nearby and we want to drink it right away! Just gonna leave it at that.

DONNELLY

1. Create more killer social content.
2. Become more humble.
3. Find out why the Metra lights the tracks on fire in the morning, other than to screw with me.

Doug: They do it to quickly heat the tracks in order to repair and align them. When they are cold, they expand and change shape, so they need to warm them to their original size and shape.

This Is Why Metra Sets Its Tracks On Fire In The Really Cold Weather

4. Last but not least, teach Stu about personal space in our video editing suite built for one.

Steph: For real, Stu. Please stop cuddling Donnelly in the editing suite.

Stu: Collaboration goes much smoother if you’re spooning.

RAFAL

1. Survive
2. Thrive
3. Recapitulate

KEITH

1. If the company makes it another two weeks, we’ll be celebrating our 12th anniversary. Plan something huge for our 13th anniversary.
2. Channel my inner Mies van der Rohe and epically crush the details.
3. Find more clients willing to push creative boundaries.
4. Keep my car safe from both Susan and Luke.
5. Make sure that when Alex L. says “Channel Muhammad Ali” he doesn’t mean punching people in the office.