Losing Liberty: Part 3.
Read part 1 here: https://medium.com/collaborative-chronicles/losing-liberty-part-1-f067559356da
“Ahh, my head.”
Poor Libby awoke with a splitting headache. As she sat up, she fought off a moment of panic. Disorientated, Libby wasn’t sure about anything, not even where she was, or her own name.
“Who am I?” she wondered. Immediately, she received an answer.
‘You’re the weaker part of myself, the part that Mama doesn’t like. Go back to sleep, Libby’.
“I won’t,” Libby snapped, determined to keep up the fight as long as she could. With Liberty’s awakening, the nightmare slowly trickled back. Liberty had been busy studying here, in the public library. Libby, like she was most days, had been a distant observer within her own life until…
Suddenly, Libby could feel her cheeks burning.
Without being told, she had figured out that James was Andrew’s brother. The two of them shared the same freckled nose and warm, brown eyes. Their smiles were completely different. Andrew’s was gentle, the kind that made you feel safe. James’ smile was vibrant. When James smiled, his entire face lit up. Libby had melted as soon as she had seen it. She didn’t care that his ‘pick up’ had been less than perfect. Perfection was the last thing that Libby wanted.
‘He stopped us from reading. That boy got exactly what he deserved.’
As Liberty spoke, Libby caught sight of her hands. Stray strands of curly, chestnut brown hair were stuck to her palms.
Libby’s heart caught in her throat. Poor James. She had never heard a worse, pain filled scream. It killed her that she was responsible.
“I hope that James is alright,” Libby fretted. At the same time, a horrible thought occurred to her.
I don’t remember letting him go. I don’t remember what happened next!
Desperately, Libby searched her memory, praying to find some scrap of evidence that showed that James was fine.
“You can do this, Libby. Just take a deep breath and think.”
At last, a memory came to her. Andrew. He had come running towards her, hadn’t he? Amazing Andy. Even after all of their years separated by her mother’s control, Libby still thought the world of that boy. As hard as it was to believe, Libby had always felt insecure about her intelligence. When she had first entered school, she had been astonished at how the other children instinctively knew how to play and make friends with each other. As strange as it was, knowing how to be a child had been a mystery to her. Libby would never have survived school without Andrew’s patience and guidance. He had laughed the day that she asked if the two of them were friends.
“You are always the last to know, aren’t you, Libs,” he had teased her. She could still remember that feeling of elation as she ran all of the way home, eager to tell Talon that she had made a friend of her very own. She could also remember crying in Talon’s arms the day that she discovered that she would never again look him Andrew in the eye. Andy had cried after Libby had told him to leave her alone. She had wanted to cry too, but perfect Liberty had forced Libby to hold her feelings in until she arrived back home. Today had been just as bad. Libby had managed to look at Andrew long enough to see his fear and hatred of her.
“I should have found a way to stand up to Mama. James, Andrew, Talon; I’m sorry. I hurt you all, and it is all my fault. I should have been stronger. You have been so kind to me, and in return, I’ve let you all down.”
Suddenly, Libby became aware of ‘the look’. The other browsers in the library were wondering what was wrong with her again. Out of habit, Libby looked towards the circulation desk. What would his reaction be this time, a raised eyebrow or a shake of the head? An amused smile, maybe? If Libby was lucky, she might be surprised with a cup of tea. He was always such a library rebel, sneaking her tea and gingernut biscuits out of the staff’s supply room, just because he thought Libby needed a pick me up.
With the desk empty, Libby attempted to imagine the librarian’s reaction. Then she shivered as she realised that she was drawing a blank. The librarian’s facial features, his voice, even his name were all gone. While his kindness wasn’t forgotten, the rest of him had disappeared from her memory without a trace. Libby clenched her fists, as she mourned over somebody dear to her that she couldn’t remember. She was furious that her mother had unfairly interfered with her life, yet again.
“Excuse me, Miss,”
The hairs on the back of Libby’s neck stood up. Why had the kid chosen those exact words? Liberty’s perfection stopped her from bursting into tears. She looked at the primary school girl with jet black pigtails, and turned on her Liberty smile.
“Can I help you?”
Liberty then sparked up as she decided that it was time to be helpful.
“Are you okay, little girl? Do you need help finding a book? Would you like me to reach a book on a high shelf? Would you like me to read something for you? Is this about books or something else? Where are your parents? Do you need help finding your parents?”
The girl started giggling hysterically. She was so cute that even the Liberty side of Libby was amused.
“What is it?” Liberty persisted, perplexed that this child found her to be so entertaining.
“I love how you hop from one idea to another like a rabbit,” she marvelled. The kid’s grin was so wide and warm that Libby started smiling through her eyes for a change.
“Valentine Club?” the girl asked her out of the blue.
Liberty frowned as she tried to work out what Valentine Club was.
“Is that a card making club? I am so sorry, but I don’t have time. I have so much reading to…”
“Valentine Club is reading,” the girl insisted as she fished around in her bag. Suddenly Liberty found herself holding something covered with gold and silver stripped wrapping paper.
“It’s a surprise blind book date, see,”
Before Liberty could do anything about it, the girl leaned over and turned the page.
The book was only partially wrapped, just enough to conceal the cover but not the pages. Before Liberty could even think about returning it, the girl skipped over to the first page.
“As humans are all unique, we all have our strengths and our weaknesses,” she began reading with impeccable fluency for her age. “Since humans are flawed, we turned to mechs, human machines with artificial intelligence, to achieve perfection. What we did not understand back then is that this technology is also flawed and unpredictable. Machines break and are easily corrupted with viruses. Even the most sophisticated artificial intelligence falter outside the limits of their programming. They do not understand complexities of this world and the humans who live among her, so they will always fall short. I strongly believe that the attempts of integrating mechs within society failed because the programmers are too small minded.”
“As humans, we only learn how to integrate because of what we learn as children,” Libby took over.
“What I am proposing is that we follow this example. What if we were to introduced a mech into the world of a child, as a child and let her organically learn and evolve. Coupled with this understanding of our world, as well as first-class programming, I truly believe that living perfection is obtainable. I, Janice Avery, will not rest until my search for perfection is fulfilled.”
Libby struggled to keep her hands still. This was no ordinary book; it was her mother’s journal! Libby did not need to read any further to understand the truth, even though she was cursed to read every word.
‘You’re the weaker part of myself, the part that Mama doesn’t like.’
Libby had assumed that this remark was Liberty being unkind. As it turned out, the doll had given her what she had wanted the most; the truth.
“Liberty was right all along,” Libby gasped, feeling ill. “She is me. I didn’t turn into a doll. The doll is me. I’m not human.”
Libby started to tremble. Any personality that she possessed was the result of her evolution. Libby was nothing more than Liberty’s faulty programming. Giving her so many commands had been Janice’s attempt to put the Libby part of her to sleep, permanently. The bewildered mech took another look at her hands. They still looked human, though she knew too much now to pretend that this was a dream. She had always been too perfect and had needed another child to teach her how to be a child, for goodness sake! The saddest part was that Libby should have been more surprised about this revelation. Strangely, a part of her was relieved to have some answers. At last, her peculiar, tortured existence finally made some sense.
‘We must read, Libby. You know that you have to finish the book.’
Coming out of shock, Libby first thought that the girl had spoken. She looked over the pages of the book as far as her curse would let her, but the Valentine Club girl had disappeared.
“Who are you?” she called, her curiously working overtime. “How did you know to bring me Mama’s journal?”
‘Read, Libby. Hurry! Mama told us to read from cover to cover, and you are still not reading!’
Liberty’s fingers started to twitch with stress and impatience.
Libby sighed. Mad as it was, she felt sorry for that pushy, perfect part of herself. This whole time, Liberty had been following her programming to the letter. Liberty was just as much a prisoner in her own body as Libby was.
Somehow, Libby managed to continue reading Janice Avery’s journal without passing out. Each startling revelation was worse than the last. Libby learned of her mother’s madness. As she continued to read, she started to understand why Dr Avery was so motivated to nurture a mech capable of absolute perfection. Janice’s precious Scientific Guild had labelled her a laughing stock because of her outlandish theories. Because of their ridicule, Janice had become obsessively determined to raise her ‘perfect’ daughter and prove everybody wrong. She would do anything to ensure that Liberty reached her full potential of becoming perfection herself. Janice Avery would be the one to issue in the age of perfected mechs and humans living alongside each other at last.
Libby had never been more tortured finishing a book. Learning about her own creation was disturbing. She discovered that all of her memories before the second grade were false. Her life had started as a seven-year-old girl. Libby had been able to grow at the same rate as the other kids in her class due to alterations performed upon her when she was asleep. That was also the time that her mother liked whispering to her, pressing upon her ‘daughter’ her latest commands to make sure that they would stick. As she grew older, perfect Liberty had started to behave erratically. These sudden bursts of ‘willfulness’ were a side effect that the doctor had not anticipated and she had to deal with it, promptly. One revelation hurt more than the rest put together. Initially, Janice had struggled with making her daughter perfect. Liberty had not been able to pass as a living, breathing child because she lacked two important qualities. The first was being able to replicate the physical responses of the human body such as breathing, eating, crying and sleeping. The second was that emotionally she was an obedient, yet soulless machine. To make her dream a reality, Janice had been forced to bring in a co-conspirator. As a young doctor, a genius and the son of two psychologists, Talon Fraser had proved to be the perfect fit. As well as assisting Dr Avery in working out how to program Liberty to behave like a human girl, in the afternoons Talon would mentor her. The idea was that he would work with the doll and use his knowledge of psychology to teach Liberty about human emotions. With a little luck, he would be able to coax those same reactions out of her so that she would be able to pass herself off as a living, caring human.
Libby started to read faster in order to spare herself from her sorrow. Those afternoons with Talon had been her favourite time of her day. Not only had he helped her to tap into her personality, but he had also taught her about the beauty of books and flowers. Talon had played with her, befriended her, and had become a sympathetic ear that Libby could always depend upon. She had confessed every one of her secrets to that man. Had her confidence been well placed or had Talon immediately ratted her out to her mother? Her unshakable trust of Talon Fraser, the man that she had falsely called Uncle was wavering, and it was making Libby sick to her stomach.
The heartbroken mech’s eyes were suddenly drawn to a particular word: troublesome. Janice wasn’t talking about Liberty for a change; she was referring to Talon. She was started to complain about Doctor Fraser’s methods, claiming that he was going overboard in trying to encourage Liberty’s humanity and that he had started to indulge her like she was a real girl. Even worse, he had begun to question Janice by accusing her of being too strict and unfeeling.
Can you believe the nerve of the man? First, he claims that his precious doll was alive and that we had a responsibility to give her the same care as any little girl. Then he interrupts me to point out that “she wants to be called Libby now.” Talon Fraser has become dangerous. Despite how much he wishes for one, no Blue Fairy is going to appear to turn my creation into a real girl. Liberty is a perfected mech, destined for greatness. She is not capable of wishing or wanting. Liberty’s only purpose it to excel, to learn and to obey. I will not allow either of them to indulge in this fantasy for a second longer. I will lay the groundwork with Liberty tonight. Talon has to disappear.
“Mama wanted Talon to walk out on us,” Libby sighed, hating her mother more by the second.
The afternoon of their fight had been the worst day of Libby’s life. Just like when she had shunned Andrew, horrible words had come spilling out of her mouth, uncontrollably. She hadn’t just told her Uncle to leave them alone. Libby had berated him, and told him that she had only said that she loved him because her Mama had told her to. She had blamed him for taking so much attention away from her studies, and for not caring about her enough to take her potential seriously. Poor Talon had silently endured Libby’s tirade. “I know that you don’t mean that, Libby,” Talon had replied, though Libby had always assumed that this was a kind lie. She could still remember how heartbroken Talon had looked as he had walked away from her. After that day, she never saw him again.
Whether her heart was real or not, her heartbeat, the heartbeat that Talon had helped to create, quickened inside of her. Libby reread the word ‘disappear’ and shivered. Knowing what darkness her mother was capable of, she wondered whether Janice had played a part in Talon’s disappearance other than causing them to fight. He may have lied about a lot of things, but at least Dr Fraser had stood up for Libby and cared about her.
“That must have made Mama furious,” Libby thought as she started to worry about Talon’s safety. After everything that she had learned from her journal, who knew what else her horrible Mama was capable of doing?
End of part 3.
Read part 4 here:
Thanks for keeping up with Liberty/Libby. Since James, Andrew and my Valentine Club girl very loudly and unexpectedly announced that they wanted a larger role in the story, this serial has evolved into a much larger idea than I had first envisioned. Today, I reached the end of Libby’s story at last (hooray). I have two more installments to share that I will be posting daily so I hope that you will come back to see how everything ends. Thanks again for reading and remember to stay your true, authentic self no matter what anybody else thinks.
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