Broken Slang

Trying to speak candidly about my condition with people has been… interesting. If I say something too upfront, like “Man, I’ve had a really hard time of it lately, this depression is really kicking my ass,” then people automatically assume that I need immediate help. That’s not always the case, though I do appreciate their concern. And it’s not like I can or even would ask people not to be concerned when I say something that is obviously distressing. But occasionally, it would just be nice to be able to address my mental illness without having to directly deal with it; like when people complain about a bad boss at work or that time they stubbed their toe.

I’ve found that the easiest way to do that is to come up with trivializing slang. It’s not a perfect method, since I occasionally find myself using it to keep people from thinking I’m in as bad a situation as I am, but it serves it’s purpose well enough. People don’t feel the need to jump to your aid quite as much if you’re talking about your brain short-circuiting, as opposed to having an episode or a fit.

Personally, I use a lot of electrical/computer phrases for things, but that’s largely because I grew up in and around those communities, so it’s the easiest way for me to get across the idea without the urgency. As mentioned earlier, short-circuiting works as a pretty decent catch-all, but I use a lot of phrases to get more specific; bonus points for using phrases that already have a double meaning as slang. Describing manic episodes as overloading or being wired is a lot more manageable for people than trying to accurately describe how those situations feel.

I know that I’m wired wrong, but every expression of frustration isn’t a cry for help.