Rationing Sanity

I spent the last two weeks in a haze. I didn’t want to do anything, I couldn’t make myself do anything, food didn’t have any taste, and frankly I don’t really remember anything because it all blurred together. A long time ago this was a pretty regular thing for me, but until recently I was functioning at a pretty stable level. So what happened?

I had to start rationing my bipolar medication.

Because of the awkward timing of my last psychiatrist appointment and the shitty time at which I was fired from my job, I didn’t have the money to refill my prescription for a hot minute. So I had to reduce the dosage I was taking (300mg of Lamotrigine down to 200mg) and space out when I took it; Once every other day. Just often enough to keep me from any side effects when I started taking it again, but not enough to actually be effective. That’s not to say that it had no effect — it kept my depression from getting to suicidal levels after all. But my productivity absolutely died, and it kept me from doing things I needed to do like applying to jobs or hunting freelance work, forcing me to ask for more help than I should have needed to stay afloat.

I’m fine now. Because of my Patreon I was able to afford the now $85 monthly dosage. But not everyone is that fortunate, and it breaks my heart knowing what people who can’t afford their medication have to live with.

American Healthcare is a fucking joke designed to weed out anyone poorer than a millionaire.